When We're in Public, Pretend You Don't Know Me (2004)

by Susan Borowitz

Book Overview

The two worst times in a woman's life is when she is 13 and when her daughter is 13, or so goes a popular maxim in psychology circles. This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0446694789
• ISBN13: 9780446694780
• Release Date: January 2004
• Publisher: Warner Books
• Weight: 0.55 lbs.

Customer Reviews

99% of this book is GREAT!

I have a 13 year old daughter, and this book really resonated with me. I was pleasantly surprised to find that I already fit in the "Uncool Mom" category, but I still learned a lot from the common sense tips. I also really enjoyed the way that this book is written, with humor and anecdotes that keep you in stitches while helping you understand your daughter just a little better. My one problem with the book was when the author recommended not teaching abstinance. I do think that it's naive to ONLY teach abstinance, but I think teaching kids that abstinance is an option is very important. By not teaching abstinance at all, but teaching kids about safe sex, what they will hear is that they are expected to have pre-marital sex. When you teach abstinance AND safe sex in conjunction, you are telling them that if they don't want to, it's a valid choice and they should feel confident in it, and if they do choose to have sex, here's how to stay safe.

Easy read with a few laughs

I am preparing for a teenage daughter (in about 3 years) and am trying to open myself up to a variety of tactics to handle those bouts of emotions. This book was an easy read and came with a few laughs, to prepare for the onslaught of teenage cruelty. The author shares her experiences with the rest of us, but it is up to us to decide what is best for our children. As an Uncool mom in training, I recommend this book to glean different perspectives in adolescent separation.

Laughing all the way to adulthood

I am the mother of a 14 year-old girl. She's a great kid, but when she went away to camp for a month and people asked me if I missed her, I said, "NO." I'm a pretty good mom; I used to teach teenagers, and I have some clue about what this age is about. Still, Borowitz's book had me laughing out loud, and while I was laughing, some new ideas slipped in. Life post-camp is looking a little brighter.

Hilarious and helpful

Okay, I'm not a parent, let alone parent of a teenager...but I will be someday, and I'm interested, so I'm thinking about it and reading up. Here's what I'm thinking about this book:I love it. It's wryly funny -- even occasionally hysterical -- and much of it rings true from watching my relatives bring up teenagers, being one not too long ago myself (though I didn't have some of the more extreme issues I notice in others), watching my own mom cope with me, and seeing the daily struggles between my peers and their moms when we were teens. There's a lot of "common sense" here, but don't let that statement fool you into thinking the book's useless; the best of us sometimes forget to exercise our "common" sense. I particularly appreciate the ("common sense?") idea that moms should not fall into the trap of being "clueless" or the opposite trap of being your daughter's "cool" best friend. The best way to be both parent and friend is to be what Mrs. Borowitz calls "the uncool mom:" setting good boundaries, remaining in control, being yourself, picking your battles, and butting out when your daughter needs to manage on her own (which is more often than you think.) My own mother did a generally great job of this, and we are now what one might call "best friends" as adults -- still very much mother-daughter, but with mutual respect, friendship, and tolerance built out of (usually, and usually this was Mom's doing) handling our conflicts in a healthy way when I was a minor. This book is written by a mom who sounds a lot like mine...but even my mom could have learned something from her.