When the Nightmare Came: A Male Abuse Survivor's Story

By David Norris

In my early thirties, I had barely begun to attune myself to a rapidly changing life and in particular, to the desire to start a family, which would become a major concern in the years ahead. There could have been no warning. At least, any warning which I could have recognised at the time.

This is the true story of ten years of my life during which I was subjected to (almost) every form of domestic abuse. This would, over various timescales, include physical assault, psychological abuse, financial abuse, emotional neglect, and even an attempt to force me to strike my wife in order to get me into trouble with the law. It would seem that the cruelty of the women I once called my wife knew no bounds.

There are many myths associated with such abuse. One is that the perpetrators are always male, the victims always female. As my story will demonstrate, this is not always the case. Another such myth is that it is easy to escape such a relationship.

In truth, the perpetrators and victims of abuse can be of any sex, race, age, religion, sexual orientation or nationality. It can affect any couple, of any age, whether married or not, of same or opposite sex.

You may ask yourself why people enter into an abusive relationship in the first instance. This again is a good enough question. Again, it is often the case that there are few if any warning signs at the outset -at least signs which most people would recognise. As indeed was the case in my relationship. From the outset, there was little warning of what was to come. At least, none that would have helped me avoid the ordeal which was to follow.

In retrospect, I faced a brutally simple choice for many years. Was I really prepared to take any decisions which would initiate a long, bitter and possibly unwinnable conflict, which would break up the family, bring in social services as well as the brutal Child Maintenance Service (CMS), jeopardise my children's life chances, and possibly undermine myself - and the wider family - financially? I had little choice but to adjust my decision-making in accordance to the circumstances, and handle with stoicism, behaviour which I would have liked to treat in a very different fashion.

I also had to choose between two very unpleasant prospects: staying in an unhappy marriage, or of being lonely and impoverished - and potentially made homeless.

All the events described are true and as accurately dated as possible; assuredly, none has been made up. Although certain fine details may be altered, where appropriate, such as the names of our children (in order to afford them the privacy they need in their own lives). The idea is to convey a true feel for all that took place, and to justify why I took the actions that I did, at the time I did.

In this book, I describe how we met, how we married, and had two children together, all against the backdrop of the ordeal I endured. In addition, I finish off with the all-or-nothing fight to drive this scourge out of my life forever.

I would like to convey a clear and distinct message to perpetrators of such vile behaviour. You will not get away with it. I openly encourage others who have suffered such an ordeal to come forward and tell the world - but before doing so, I strongly advise victims to seek help before it is too late.

I think that the problem for male victims is largely one of perception. In my book I am giving the lie to that and hoping that it will serve as a catalyst for change.

I know that my former wife will emerge badly from this era, once my story is over; once the history of my life from 2006 through to 2025 is documented. And how do I know this? For it is I who shall tell this story.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: B0FL32GTFZ
• ISBN13: 9798296464798
• Release Date: August 2025
• Publisher: Independently Published
• Length: 134 Pages
• Weight: 0.42 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.3" x 6.0" x 9.0"