What Matters Most when NO is better than YES

By Doug Fields and Andy Stanley

If you can't remember the last time you said no to the senior pastor, the custodian, the church secretary, or the parents of that annoying kid, you're on the road to ... well ... to nowhere. Actually, you're on the road to death-the death of your passion, your ministry, your joy, your family, your long-term ministry effectiveness, and maybe even your faith. It may sound dramatic, but the truth is, ministry often makes us feel like we have to say yes to everything for the sake of Jesus. We're asked to sacrifice our time, our energy, our personal resources, and often our families. And we usually make these sacrifices for others who believe they know what really matters for us. But if it's all in the name of Jesus, do you think Jesus would really ask us to do it all? Probably not, because Jesus said no on a regular basis. He said no to important people and significant opportunities. He took time to focus on what mattered most. He said no when he needed to refuel or refocus. In fact, Jesus was effective in his ministry because he occasionally said no. Can you imagine what your ministry could be if you took the opportunities to refuel and refocus from time to time? This is your chance. Doug Fields, author of What Matters Most and a youth ministry survivor for more than 25 years, is giving you permission-no, he's telling you-to learn to say no and say it often so you can say yes to what's most important. If you want to do more than just survive, if you want to thrive in youth ministry, this may be the most important lesson you'll learn. This book will provide you with encouragement to stay the course, reignite your passion for ministry, and most importantly, nurture your passion for Jesus. After all, isn't that what matters most? Book jacket.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0310273277
• ISBN13: 9780310273271
• Release Date: October 2006
• Publisher: Zondervan/Youth Specialties
• Length: 96 Pages
• Weight: 0.45 lbs.
• Dimensions: 5.2" x 0.6" x 7.4"

Customer Reviews

Say Yes To This Book

In What Matters Most, Doug Fields says, "You need to learn to say no to many good things and wonderful people so you'll have space to say yes to God, yes to the important people in your life [like your family and friends:], yes to priorities - yes to what matters most" (p. 21). What does matter most to you? I think that's why I like Fields' book so much. He doesn't presume to know what your top priorities are, because they are different for everyone. Fields offers helpful questions and thoughts to get to the heart of what matters to you. Once that's clarified, Fields offers practical ideas for making certain those things are not pushed out of your life by other people or tasks. *note: In my opinion, the book which unpacks out this topic a little more fully is Choosing to Cheat by Andy Stanley.

You can't afford not to

Doug Fields has written a short, to-the-point, practical yet reflective book on why learning to say, "No", and then practicing saying it, is essential to staying healthy in a ministry leadership position. Although Fields is a youth minister and writes with youth ministers as his primary audience, this book applies to anyone in ministry--paid or unpaid, full-time, part-time, or volunteer. Early on he writes, "I want to challenge you to say no more often so you can say yes to what matters most" (18). He develops this idea throughout the rest of the book. For those who may be in too deep and not know how to recognize it, Fields points out some warning signs that can help you discern if you're addicted to busyness, or if you're putting doing ministry above loving God (for example, consistently counting the time you spend preparing a talk or small group lesson as your own personal devotional time) . Having pointed out some signs, he also talks about practical action steps you can take to bring things back under control. Jesus said, "Apart from me you can do nothing" (John 15:5). The temptation is always there for the minister to do more, be more, accomplish more, and say "yes" more. Yet as you do this, you risk damaging your first love: your relationship with Christ. Fields's short book is a call back to that first love with a clear escape route from any busyness, overworking, or people-pleasing that may have entrapped you.