We Are Family (Until Budget Cuts Say Otherwise)

By Alexander Pyatkovsky

Welcome to the Dysfunction. We Saved You a Seat.

At some point, every job starts with a hopeful "Welcome to the family." This book is about what happens after that - when the snacks disappear, the meetings multiply, and your employee badge becomes less of a symbol and more of a sentence.

We Are Family (Until Budget Cuts Say Otherwise) is a hilarious, heartbreakingly honest memoir-in-scenes about one employee's slow descent into corporate madness, where PowerPoint is weaponized, managers vanish into Slack, and every "quick sync" is anything but.

Told in brutally funny, first-person snapshots, this book is for anyone who's ever:

Been "strategically realigned" out of a job

Survived a Zoom icebreaker by blurting out a trauma

Given 110% and been told their "energy could be perceived as intense"

Had a laptop (named Janet) crash mid-performance review

Believed in company values right up until the layoff email hit

These are the true stories behind the team-building exercises, motivational jargon, and awkward "camera-on" culture. You'll meet Greg (the email ghost), Dave (the printer warlord), Cheryl from HR (who just wants you to access the wellness portal), and a narrator who just wants to survive one workweek without questioning reality.

It's part satire, part survival guide, and entirely too relatable.

If you've ever been told to "bring your whole self to work" only to find out that self was "a bit much," this is your book. If you've ever cried during a reorg, laughed during a layoff (panic counts), or worn your badge long after it stopped opening doors - you're in the right place.

Welcome to the family.

Until budget cuts say otherwise.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: B0FJ88NKF8
• ISBN13: 9798293219858
• Release Date: July 2025
• Publisher: Independently Published
• Length: 198 Pages
• Weight: 0.78 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.4" x 7.0" x 10.0"