When I look at old black-and-white pictures of my ancestors, I search their faces, looking for clues. What kind of people were they? What had been their dreams and their ambitions? Had they ever read the philosophy of Plato or Descartes, the poetry of Milton, or learned about Newton's laws of physics? What lay hidden behind their eyes? They had left no record of their thoughts or their beliefs. They had left a void, an unsolvable mystery. I wanted my grandchildren, and hopefully their grandchildren, to have more than a photograph of me to puzzle over, more than the shadow of a man. I wanted them to know what lay behind my eyes. There was a fear of criticism if I were to fully expose myself. Now I say - to hell with it. Now I think I am old enough to have paid my dues. If people do not like what I have to say they can go jump in the lake. Hopefully they will find something positive in my story, in my search for knowledge.
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