Waiter Rant: Thanks for the Tip--Confessions of a Cynical Waiter

By Steve Dublanica

Book Overview

According to The Waiter, eighty percent of customers are nice people just looking for something to eat. The remaining twenty percent, however, are socially maladjusted psychopaths. Waiter Rant offers the server's unique point of view, replete with tales of customer stupidity, arrogant misbehavior, and unseen bits of human grace transpiring in the most unlikely places. Through outrageous stories, The Waiter reveals the secrets to getting good service, proper tipping etiquette, and how to keep him from spitting in your food. The Waiter also shares his ongoing struggle, at age thirty-eight, to figure out if he can finally leave the first job at which he's truly thrived.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0061256684
• ISBN13: 9780061256684
• Release Date: July 2008
• Publisher: Ecco
• Length: 302 Pages
• Weight: 1.09 lbs.
• Dimensions: 8.3" x 1.1" x 5.5"

Customer Reviews

Hilarious poignant and revealing

What hasn't already been written about this classic? It should be required reading for anyone going out to dinner. The author's deep humanity shines thru in every situation, in stark contrast to the boorish behaviour of the may flourish guests featured in his true tales. Years after it was originally published, more people than ever have no clue how to behave in a public setting like a restaurant. Before you make another RSVP for 4 and then show up with 7, then complain about waiting, read this book.

"Kitchen Confidential" for the Front-of-House.

I received a copy for review, and I liked the book - I give it 5 stars. It is reminisient of "Kitchen Confidential" but for Front-of-House rather than concentrating on the Back-of-House. Reading this book can increase your chance of having a good experience at an expensive restaurant. If you invest money in going to this type of establishmnet you would be wise to read this book and invest some time in understanding it. For the Waitron in the business there are some valuable tips and insights into food service, some stories you can borrow for gossip, and for the person considering opening their own restaurant there are some warnings to give you pause. "The Waiter" includes a classification of 13 types of tippers in chapter 9 ("The tip's the Thing")including: "the verbal tipper" "the Flat Tipper" "The tip's the Thing". Which type are you? Does that explain the usual service you get? The book includes some useful Appendix: 40 Tips on how to be a good customer. 50 ways to tell you're working in a bad restaurant. items a waiter should carry at all times

"Office Space" of the Restaurant world

As I read "Waiter Rant", I couldn't help but think that this truly was a bit like the cult film "Office Space", but for the restaurant world. Parts of the book were just flat out funny, in that kind of way that Office Space is funny to those of us who work in the corporate world. I found I liked "the waiter" from the beginning. He is cynical, he is funny, he is smart, witty and above all not going to take a lot of "#%*%" from you if you start acting like a moron at the establishment he works at. In the book you get the real picture of what goes in the back, the tyrannical bosses, the mal-adjusted waitstaff, the psycho customers, the good, the bad and the ugly. There are stories of meat sent back one too many times, a roaming squirrel in the dining room, and the case of the coffee that just wasn't hot enough (until the waiter fixes that for good). As he says in the book "Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Waiter". Rule 1: Always be nice to the waitstaff. I must admit, that I had never read the waiter's prize winning blog before, so I was completely new to his writing, but hope that he keeps up the writing and entertaining us for years to come, in whatever direction his life takes him. Oh, and do NOT miss the 40 tips on how to be a good customer, noted in the back of the book. Not only are these written with humor, but are truly those things that many of us fellow diners wish that you would stop (ahem, hel-lo cell phone users.....we are trying to have a romantic dinner here and do not really need to know about your mother's kidney stones). Great Job "Waiter", I would give you a 25% tip for this one, and a smiley on the check to boot :) Wishing you much success with the book, it was a great read!

So, a priest walks into a restaurant...

I was at a nice restaurant with my now fiance. A man walked in with a small group and proceeded to raise a ruckus. He didn't like the table they assigned. He didn't like the next table. He got angry and firm, finally taking a table near the back despite the protest of the staff. Quite rude and quite thinking he was the only one in the restaurant. When he sat down his mother, who likely taught him such behavior, said, "First you give them a chance to do it right, then you help them do it right." We laughed out loud. Their assumption of what they were owed did not disguise the fact they were merely boors. I'm glad I don't have to deal with such people every day. But waiters and waitresses do. The author of this book started out thinking he would like to help people as a priest. He began to study for the priesthood but left when the corruption and the scandals started getting too much. Had a degree in psychology and tried his hand in the mental health care business. Also corrupt and scandal-ridden. Stayed honest, got fired. Wandered around a little. His brother got him a job in a restaurant. Also corrupt and scandal-ridden, but at least there are no illusions. Stays a waiter. Moves to a nicer place. Begins to write about his experiences on a blog. Then in this book. That's the background. The book is a memoir of sorts, but not a typical kind. It's anonymous. It also dwells on a particular setting and makes particular points along the way. It's a memoir with a mission, and this is to illuminate the often hidden world of restaurants. The Waiter, as he is known, touches on important concepts such as management, illegal immigration, rude customers, good and bad service, holidays, waiter revenge, hygiene, and assorted other topics. Each chapter has a particular theme. Yet, these themes aren't at all obvious at first. The writing is that good. The Waiter is brilliant at showing not telling, that tricky art that foils lesser writers. We are given a story, not a mere rant. He is descriptive, insightful, observing, and honest. The themes are held within an overall story that is his life, a life that has many twists and turns and disappointments. These disappointments and disillusionment become our boon, however. Because of his background, and his great capability, we are given a wonderful view into an often disguised world. The Waiter brings to bear not only his expertise at his profession, but also psychological and spiritual insights, making this book a surprising deep read. But never overbearing and certainly never self-righteous. The honesty sometimes ventures into the vulgar, but always understandably so. It's not only the story of a man trying to find his way and providing great commentary as he goes. It's also a manual of restaurant etiquette and personalities, becoming a mirror to our often unconsidered actions. This really is a great book, amazing insight and amazing writing throughout. Profound a

Excellent! Above & Beyond a Rant; Entertaining, Reflective, Articulate

Waiter Rant greatly exceeded my expectations. I was expecting a slapstick, sophmoric diatribe on the antics that occur in restaurants. Granted, it has some of that, but on the whole, Waiter Rant is a memoir of high order. The author inserts entertaining episodes from his career as a waiter into the larger context of a deep, reflective memoir. The writing is superb in both the narrative and autobiographical styles that it includes. Waiter Rant offers glimpses of the author's background and perspectives. We learn he had ambitions of priesthood and graduated from seminary with a degree in psychology after turning in a different direction. He definitely possesses the thoughtfulness and depth of insight one might expect from a seminary graduate. This is combined with the rough and tough world of mental healthcare and the restaurant business in NYC. The product is something for every reader to enjoy and appreciate. There is no doubt that the main attraction to this book is the insights and episodes from the restaurants where the Waiter works. These are interesting, funny, sad, and astonishing. The narrator, the Waiter, is likeable, endearing, conflicted, honest, open, etc.,--all those things that are the foundation of a good autobiographical work along with writing talent and the ability to make it interesting. This is the total package. This book will naturally appeal to readers who work in the restaurant field, but I never have and really enjoyed it. You don't have to have any connections to restaurants besides eating at them to enjoy this book. When finishing reading Waiter Rant, I had the feeling I have after reading all good memoirs...that of wanting more. I hope the Waiter delivers a second course. (I know that was probably the cheesiest line I have ever written, but it is true.) Review by the author of Shakespeare On Spirituality: Life-Changing Wisdom from Shakespeare's Plays

I like to think of myself as the 20% tipper...

I like to eat, dabble in cooking, read the usual food blogs, but hitherto reading the WR, I must confess that I have never heard of the WaiterRant blog or the mysterious Waiter. (One does however, learn the Waiter's first name by the end of the book. And more importantly, as I learned on wikipedia, the Waiter will shed his anonymity at 7:00 PM on Tuesday, July 29th at Borders Books inside the Time Warner Building in Manhattan.) The Waiter details his beginnings at Amici's, where we meet the first of several psychopathic and dysfunctional managers, fellow waiters, and restaurant owners. He survives the baptism, and soldiers on as a manager at The Bistro for the next six odd years. He deftly handles the crucible that is The Bistro throughout a variety of situations; supervising the infamous Russell Crowe visit, deflecting Fluvio's rants and video camera spying, and handling the day to day obnoxious customers. Some of the chapters may have come from his blog postings, but perhaps the more faithful fans can tell me which portions were newly added. After finishing the book, his rants inspired me to a bit of introspection regarding how to better treat the wait staff. I've asked for a different table other than my assigned table before. It's amazing what waiters have to put up with, and you will definitely appreciate them more after a good reading. Want suggestions on how to tip better? Then check out Chapter 9, ppg. 105-118. The book also comes with appendices on how to be a better customer (when ordering wine, don't sniff the cork), how to tell you're at a bad restaurant (just look at the employees' bathroom), and tips for waiters. And guys, if you're taking a girl out on a date, the Waiter suggests tipping at least 20%, because she will know. My one complaint against the Waiter? 30 Minute Meals is his favorite show on FoodTV.