Unpacking Forgiveness: Biblical Answers for Complex Questions and Deep Wounds

by Chris Brauns

Book Overview

Helps readers move beyond the wounds and baggage of bitterness, disagreements, and broken relationships.

"True or false: most Christian pastors and counselors agree on what forgiveness is and how it should take place." This question is part of Chris Brauns's Forgiveness Quiz that draws readers into his book and gets them thinking about the subject of forgiveness. The truth is, pastors and counselors disagree profoundly on this subject. Unpacking...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1581349807
• ISBN13: 9781581349801
• Release Date: September 2008
• Publisher: Crossway
• Length: 240 Pages
• Weight: 0.78 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.7" x 6.2" x 9.0"

Customer Reviews

Easy to Read--Tough to Swallow

Today's Christian bookstores are littered with material that is written on the subject of forgiveness and conflict resolution. In one sense, they are littered because the books are all over the place. In another sense, they are littered because the ones they have are often garbage. Having written secular college-level professional leadership and management courses before the Lord called me into the pastorate, I can detect the stench of humanistic conflict resolution theories a mile away. After reading scores of "Christian" conflict resolution books, I am offended at how many of them are grounded in the same humanistic theories. But it doesn't just stop with conflict resolution--it bleeds over into the subject of forgiveness. In so many books today, forgiveness is seen as a psychological or therapeutic act. At best it is seen as cathartic and will enable the forgiver to experience harmony with their personal feelings--regardless of the actions of the one being forgiven. Thankfully, this is not one of those books. The author, Chris Brauns, will never be mistaken for Oprah or Dr. Phil. As a matter of fact, he will never be mistaken for most Christian writers who dare to broach the subject of forgiveness and conflict resolution. The book is extremely easy to read, but at times it is difficult to swallow. After all, most people today have been malnourished on a steady diet of easy-forgiveism (my phrase, not Brauns')--forgive and forget, just let bygones be bygones, love means never having to say you're sorry, etc. This book contradicts that prevailing notion by presenting a thoroughly biblical treatment of what forgiveness really is. Simply, forgiveness means that we are to forgive others as Christ forgave us--which means that it includes both grace on the part of the forgiver and repentance on the part of the forgiven. It sounds simple enough, but, as the title indicates, unpacking what that means is the difficult part. Brauns successfully unpacks the meaning, but he doesn't leave it scattered on the floor in one more cluttered brain pile. He unpacks the meaning and readies it to wear with effective application. But be forewarned, if you are dealing with forgiveness issues in your life, this will be a difficult read. Even if you have issued superficial forgiveness primarily designed to make you feel better, you will be convicted. That is the true benefit of this book. While it can be effective as a how-to book, its true value is in pastorally teaching the true meaning of biblical forgiveness and spurring readers to practice it.

Deeply & Faithfully Biblical

When I receive books to review I place them in one of three piles. The first stack are books I highly value and the second are works that are trite, silly, and insignificant (a sheer waste of good paper). I take my time as I read through the first, and generally only scan the latter. The third category are books that seem important but are ones that I expect I will have profound disagreements with the content. I also read through these carefully, if for no other reason than to refute them. When I received a copy of Chris Brauns' Unpacking Forgiveness I immediately placed it into the third category. The key premise of the book is that forgiveness should only be given if the offending party is actually repentant. Frankly, I found this idea morally repugnant and eagerly looked forward to disproving it from scripture. Three days later, after spending equal amounts of time in the book and in Scripture, Brauns has convinced me that my idea of forgiveness is the one that lacks scriptural support. The author distinguishes biblical forgiveness from therapeutic forgiveness. Popular culture, being exposed to elements of Christian teaching while failing to grasp its deeper tuths, has turned forgiveness into a feeling, instead of the radical commitment to reconciliation as taught in scripture. Therapeutic forgiveness sees it as a private feeling that should be granted unconditionally. In this view, forgiveness is offered out of self-interest--we forgive in order to be freed from hate and bitterness. Scripture however demonstrates that forgiveness is a cooperative event between two individuals conditioned upon repentance. The motivation for forgiveness arises out of our love for the other person and for God. Simply put, Brauns tells us that forgiveness is inextricably linked to reconciliation. Certainly Christians are to offer forgiveness to all, but forgiveness (and thus reconciliation) can only be granted to those who want to be forgiven. Unpacking Forgiveness is theologically and biblically rich. Perhaps the greatest compliment a Christian author can receive is to be told his book has faithfully and deeply interacted with the Word of God--and Brauns has done just that. Though the style of writing does indicate Brauns is a fairly new author, the work is well illustrated and practical.

Biblical Wisdom on an Important Topic

You do not need to live long in this world before you will accumulate a nearly endless list of people to whom you owe forgiveness. Even young children quickly begin to sin against others and have to ask forgiveness (just as my two-year old had to seek forgiveness from her sister yesterday for tearing a page from her new Bible). And though Christians speak often of forgiveness extended to them by God, they speak far less often of forgiveness offered to others. In Unpacking Forgiveness, Chris Brauns provides "biblical answers for complex questions and deep wounds." And really it is only God's word that can unpack forgiveness, offering hope for true and lasting healing. Brauns offers teaching on forgiveness that counters much of the mainstream of Evangelical thought. Nowhere is this shown more clearly than in his discussion about the conditional nature of forgiveness. Where we are accustomed to Christians "forgiving" any and everyone, perhaps standing outside the scene of a school shooting with signs saying, "We forgive you," Brauns shows that this is not true forgiveness in a biblical sense. He distinguishes between a kind of therapeutic forgiveness that may make us feel better, and a genuine forgiveness that actually brings about reconciliation. The book is packed with illustrations, many of which are heartbreaking. You will read some stories that have been widely reported in the media (such as the story of the Willis family whose six children were killed in a van accident caused by a manufacturing defect) and others that will be new to you. But through each of the stories you will see remarkable examples of Christians both extending and receiving forgiveness. Brauns roots the human pattern of forgiveness in the divine model given to us by God. He offers the key principle that God expects believers to forgive others in the way that he forgave them. How, then, does God forgive? Brauns defines God's forgiveness in this way: "A commitment by the one true God to pardon graciously those who repent and believe so that they are reconciled to him, although this commitment does not eliminate all consequences." We see that God's forgiveness is gracious but not free; it is conditional (meaning that only those who repent and believe are forgiven); it lays the groundwork for reconciliation; and it does not eliminate all consequences. And this model of forgiveness, exemplified so clearly and so amazingly in the cross, is the pattern we are to imitate. Human forgiveness, then, is "a commitment by the offended to pardon graciously the repentant from moral liability and so to be reconciled to that person, although not all consequences are necessarily eliminated." The book continues into areas of application, asking when it is appropriate to simply overlook an offense and offering principles on how to actually go about seeking forgiveness and reconciliation. Brauns offers biblical wisdom on what to do if you find that you simply cannot forgive and he provides p

How to Be Truly Happy

What a wonderful reference of Scriptures coupled with powerful and compelling real life stories! Although there are many true life accounts and times when Rev. Brauns shares some of his own struggles, the teaching in this book was not based upon personal experience or opinion. Every point is very clearly backed up with plenty of Scripture references. It is not only for those struggling to forgive, but it is for every person who would examine themselves next to the Scriptures and expose heart problems that may lead to bitterness, pride, and unforgiving attitudes, along with the dire consequences of choosing them. Rev. Brauns makes the study of forgiveness uplifting and inspiring. By complimenting Piper's books with the same premise (God being most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him), Rev. Brauns gave me hope for the hardest circumstances that could be presented in life. The truth of Scripture so clearly laid out gave me every reason to want change in my life and want it because I know it is what will make me truly happy. The practical applications from personal example gave me a starting line and motivated me. I have taken truth presented in this book and have been able to easily apply the concepts gleaned thanks to this powerful work. I plan to read through it again as an in depth study.

Clear, biblical, and practical

I don't think that there are many issues that come up more often than forgiveness. I sense this every time I speak about it. I can sense that I'm talking about an issue that is real for every person who is present. Learning how to forgive isn't easy. Hurts often run deep; some situations that demand forgiveness are almost unspeakable. How does one forgive when the offense is so great, and the wound is so deep? To make things even more complicated, people who teach about forgiveness often offer conflicting answers. Not only is forgiveness difficult, but it's also frequently misunderstood. Given these difficulties, I suspect I'll be using Unpacking Forgiveness quite a bit in the coming years. It's written by a pastor - Chris Brauns - and it reminds me what good pastoral practice should look like: * It's biblical - I've heard a lot of opinions about forgiveness. Brauns, thankfully, is driven by Scripture rather than his own views. It's hard to find anything in the book that isn't grounded in Scripture. * It's clear - There's a lot of fuzzy thinking about forgiveness. I know; there was some fuzziness in my thinking when I began this book. For instance, many of us fall into a therapeutic model of forgiveness, which makes forgiveness about our emotions rather than a relationship. Brauns does a good job of untangling the issues and clearly communicating which approaches are right, and why it matters. * It's practical - This is not some abstract treatise. Anyone struggling with the forgiveness can pick up this book and immediately benefit. It answers practical questions about when (and when not to) confront, how to go about forgiving, how to respond to the unrepentant, how to conquer bitterness, and more. * It's sensitive - Brauns sometimes has hard things to say, and when he does, you can feel him wince. He's committed to telling the truth, even though he knows it's sometimes not what we want to hear. You get the sense that he cares. * It's gospel-based - Brauns takes us to the gospel. Human forgiveness is ultimately related to divine forgiveness, and rooted in God's grace. Bruans helps us understand that while we should always offer forgiveness and show love, forgiveness cannot take place until it is accepted by the other party. Forgiveness is more than an emotion; it is a transaction between two parties. This helps us avoid some of the problems that come from automatic, therapeutic models of forgiveness. In short, forgiveness is one of the most important, practical topics out there, and Unpacking Forgiveness is the clearest, most biblical and practical thing I've read. It untangles an important issue, and I hope it is widely read and applied.