After I sustained a herniated disk in my neck from a work-related car accident in 2001, nearly a decade of incompetent treatment from worker's compensation doctors resulted in numerous herniations throughout my cervical spine. The pain grew so bad that I was placed on Social Security Disability at the age of 35. Unfortunately, the result of that action at such a young age caused great financial difficulties. A combination of finance and depression led me to consider suicide on multiple occasions. During the periods of such horrific depressive states, I began to compose my thoughts. What initially started as a long suicide manifesto became a book earlier this year, and it goes on sale on Oct. 31. In the book, I detail how I felt during these depressive states and give readers a true glimpse into the mind of someone so depressed they south to end their own life. In a small polling of those who either lost a loved one to suicide or considered it themselves, I found the readers found solace in my words. It helped those who lost someone, and it helped those who considered it actually verbalize their feelings. Those who considered it also stated it echoed what they felt, and they want to have loved ones read it so they can understand the feelings as well. I found a reason to go on, and I want to help inspire others. I hope my story can save one person who considered suicide or can bring some relief to someone who lost a loved one to the act. If it does that, it was worth sharing such personal and dark details of my life with others.
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