Why do some patients in therapy make progress and others do not? This book examines treatment resistance in therapy, through the lens of my 13 years in therapy, including as a patient at the Austen-Riggs center for 8 years. I talk about my frustration about my lack of progress in therapy, in helping with my depression and anxiety, despite the rapport with 3 out of the 5 therapists I've had. While my depression and suicidality eventually improved, partially due to my years at Austen-Riggs, I'm not sure how much the one-on-one, traditional talk-therapy had much to do with it. I talk about my experiences in therapy, my experiences at Austen-Riggs, and what I feel are the ways psychoanalytic theory needs to develop to help treatment resistant patients. I think there are many different kinds of therapeutic treatment resistance, and I outline a specific example of treatment resistance - the child of "blurred parents," loving parents who nonetheless were confused in the role and had no sense of themselves as parents, leading to a confused sense of self for the child. I wish to gratefully acknowledge the support of my own parents, and the hard work of my last 3 therapists, without which this book would not have been possible.
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