Toxic Relationships and How to Change Them: Health and Holiness in Everyday Life

By Clinton W. McLemore

Book Overview

In this groundbreaking book, Dr. Clinton McLemore- a leading expert on interpersonal relationships- gives you a powerful roadmap for promoting healthy and productive relationships. Toxic Relationships draws extensively from psychological research and Christian theology and is filled with practical strategies you can use to create better communication at home and at work. You will learn how to increase appreciation, tenderness, respect, comfort, and understanding in all of your relationships by recognizing the eight basic "default styles" that most of us use to respond to others. By using biblical examples, Dr. McLemore shows how we can change our own destructive behavior and influence the behavior of others by understanding these eight toxic strategies: Controlling Drifting Intruding Freeloading Humiliating Scurrying Victimizing Avoiding Create loving and healthy relationships using these proven methods for transforming toxic interactions with others.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0787968773
• ISBN13: 9780787968779
• Release Date: September 2003
• Publisher: Jossey-Bass
• Length: 304 Pages
• Weight: 1.15 lbs.
• Dimensions: 9.3" x 1.1" x 6.3"

Customer Reviews

Great book.

This book is definitely different and gives great help into understanding people and in knowing what to expect from certain types of people.

Exceptional and powerful insights

WOW! I thought I would blaze through this book in a few comfortable sittings, but I was wrong. I purposefully slowed my pace to absorb as much of Dr. McLemore's gifted insights as possible. This book should be a standard text for every psychology class, and mandatory reading for anyone involved in interpersonal counselling. Having said that, it is also exceedingly valuable for anyone, professional or non, who wishes to understand and improve relationships with others. The logical organization and conversational writing style of Dr. McLemore makes difficult and complex concepts easy to understand. His use of examples to illustrate his points really bring the concepts "home." The use of Scripture to extablish departure points for each chapter is artful and indisputeably relates to the subjects covered. Best of all, he doesn't just lay out the problems for us, but presents actionable alternatives for those confronted with toxic relationships. I have enjoyed all of Dr. McLemore's books and can't wait for his next offering.

What a useful book!

I gave this book "five-stars." Dr. McLemore teaches a profound methodology for understanding the people in your life in clear-cut manner that doesn't water down this complex subject into another pop psychology book with a title like "Ten Handy Tips for Great Relationships." The methodology is comprehensive but not academically dry. However, this book could easily become a popular text for graduate level courses in psychology, counseling or social work. If you are like me and want to skim books to get the big ideas, McLemore provides many useful charts to aid in your quick study of the material. Though written by a former seminary professor, I believe non-Christian readers will also find the material thought provoking and beneficial. Also, if you are a parent, supervisor, coach or schoolteacher, the last twenty pages written about changing yourself and changing others will pay for the book. Reading this book is time well spent!

Destined to become a classic

This book is destined to become a classic. Although advertised as a book about toxic behavior, the first 35% is about ordinary behavior. It presents some simple models that ordinary people can use to learn more about themselves and others. It explains which personality types go well together. This should prove useful to people in selecting a spouse or business partner. The next 55% of the book describes eight types of toxic behavior. It gives detailed information about each type so that you can examine yourself for having these types of behavior. It also gives advice on how to not reinforce the toxic behavior of others. The remaining 10% of the book is a tutorial on how to change your own behavior. The author's 10 years of teaching shows in the clear explanations and systematic treatment of the subject. There are frequent examples for thought and probing questions to apply to yourself.