Together But Alone: When God Means Something Different to Your Spouse

By Donna Erickson Couch

You attend church on Sunday while your husband golfs.You want to join a weekly small faith-sharing group, butyour wife wants you to spend time with her. You want totalk about a great spiritual book... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0867168528
• ISBN13: 9780867168525
• Release Date: April 2008
• Publisher: Franciscan Media
• Length: 117 Pages
• Weight: 0.05 lbs.
• Dimensions: 8.3" x 0.3" x 5.5"

Customer Reviews

For Faith/Non-Faith Couples and Those Who Minister to Them

In the introduction to Together but Alone, Donna Erickson Couch describes herself as a "fallen away" Catholic married at age 21 to a man with no formal religious connection. Ten years into the marriage, the author experienced "mild stirrings and thoughts about God" that continued to grow, eventually leading her to abandon her college professor career for full-time parish work. The first section of the book, Walking Alone, opens with an overview of dialectical tensions of interpersonal relationships: integration vs. separation, stability vs. change, and disclosure vs. privacy. When one spouse accepts God as the center of life and the other does not, the result is a "process of pondering, holding and managing the dialectical tensions that come with intimate relationships," Couch writes. That process involves letting go of fear, revealing our new commitment to those close to us, and "embracing the surprises that await us as we progress through the many stages of faith development." She shares significant events from her own life in chapters 2 (longing, loneliness, and love) and 3 (solitude and community). The second part of the book, Walking Together, treats the topics of children and family; friends and guides; and the journey ahead. Here the stories are accompanied by practical advice on spiritual symbols and rituals in the home, how to find a spiritual director, and similar subjects. The book closes with journal reflections and prayer starters for each chapter. Together but Alone offers a remarkable combination of academic and literary styles. Couch's knowledge of how to develop and format a research paper is evident. As she considered re-joining the church she collected and studied a variety of works on spirituality. She quotes numerous authors and documents her sources with notes. In that mode, she can write "The vertical intimacy one experiences with God intersects with the horizontal intimacy one encounters in others." On the other hand, we find such personal expressions as "the spiritual awakening that was lying dormant underneath the drama of my marriage." This is truly a valuable resource for faith/non-faith couples and those whose ministry involves RCIA, marriage preparation, and pastoral counseling.

Very Insightful

While this book was written from the experience of a believer/non-believer paradigm, I found the book to have a nice foundation for other dichotomies as well: believer/"uber-believer", faith/different-faith, et al opposites that could exist in a loving, committed relationship. It's rare--if not impossible--that a couple have the same beliefs in everything. Therefore, the ideas and techniques discussed, combined with real-world examples, make this book a "must-read" for those trying to illuminate their spiritual journey.

MN

I am grateful to the author for providing me a way to understand that my own inner 'loneliness' is not a personal shortcoming. I feel free to more calmly embrace my inner longing as a very human part of my spiritual journey.

Excellent Book

This is an amazing book and is helpful and inspiring to those with a spouse of a different faith or those of us who have family and friends experiencing this type of situation. The information was thought provoking and educational. I felt as though I was reading a very well written, intellectual personal journal rather than a psychology textbook or standard "how to" book. The author's honest and poetic writing style keeps you enthralled in her story and the wisdom she shares with the reader. I can see how this book could be a manual for those in a marriage of different faiths but for me, the lessons she shares can also be used in relationships with close friends or loved ones that share a different faith tradition.

together But Alone

This work can be of much support to anybody, not just people with a spouse. It helped to awaken my own personal path of spiritual travel. I recommend this book to single people, people who are engaged, newlyweds and those of us in the wisdom state of old age. Respecting the individual path of faith is monument in this author's work. I hope young, old, single, married, engaged and those in relationships to complete this easy to read book.