Things Boys Pee On

By KW Hoffman

Have you ever wondered why, despite thousands of years of human evolution, males of all ages still struggle to pee in the right place? Things Boys Pee On is the hilarious, eye-opening, and slightly horrifying deep dive into the universal truth that when given the chance, men will pee on literally everything. From toilets (often missed) to trees (a classic), from unsuspecting fire hydrants to poorly placed carpet, this book explores the wild and unpredictable world of misguided male urination.

Packed with laugh-out-loud stories, cringe-worthy misfires, and scientific-ish explanations of poor aim, this book answers all the questions you never asked, like:

Why is hitting the toilet apparently optional?

What compels males to mark their territory like golden retrievers?

Is peeing off the porch an instinct or an art form?

Can the pool ever truly be trusted?

Is there any object safe from becoming an impromptu urinal?

Perfect for parents of boys, long-suffering spouses, or anyone who has ever had to clean up after a "near miss," Things Boys Pee On is a must-read for anyone with a sense of humor and a strong stomach. Whether you're looking to laugh, reminisce, or finally understand the science behind splashback, this book is your ultimate guide to the world's messiest mystery.

Warning: Reading this book may cause uncontrollable laughter, mild PTSD from childhood memories, and a sudden urge to deep-clean your bathroom.

Praise for Things Boys Pee On:

"A modern classic. This book made me laugh so hard, I nearly created my own splash zone." - Chuck Tinkleman, Bathroom Enthusiast

"Equal parts hilarious and horrifying, this book finally answers the question: why do men pee on literally everything?" - Dr. Patricia Streamwell, PhD in Unfortunate Fluid Dynamics

"An eye-opening (and sometimes nose-wrinkling) deep dive into the world of misguided urination. Read at your own risk." - Hank Dribbleson, Author of Oops, I Missed Again

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: B0F1JVT7BY
• ISBN13: 9798312565683
• Release Date: April 2025
• Publisher: Independently Published
• Length: 64 Pages
• Weight: 0.22 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.1" x 6.0" x 9.0"