They Don't Get It, Do They?: Communication in the Workplace--Closing the Gap Between Women and Men

by Kathleen Kelley Reardon

Book Overview

Does this conversation seem familiar?Janet: I felt left out of the planning of this project, Fred.Fred: Now, Janet, let's not make this a personal thing. Frank, Bill and I happened to run into each... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0316736414
• ISBN13: 9780316736411
• Release Date: January 1995
• Publisher: Little Brown and Company
• Length: 200 Pages
• Weight: 0.98 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.8" x 6.4" x 9.6"

Customer Reviews

Keep an open mind....

It never ceases to amaze me how people who are in fairly privileged positions in life react so vehemently and violently to the least criticism of the social order from which they and their parents before them have benefitted. I believe that Dr. Deborah Tannen's "You Just Don't Understand, Men and Women in Conversation" is a much better book that explains more objectively and empirically the cultural/cognitive differences between men and women; yet still I do not think this work should just be dismissed. While I do not believe it is useful for anyone to accept the role of victim and take on the helplessness implied in such a label, I also am tired of men who cannot tolerate being asked for once in their lives to seriously examine the perspectives and experiences of women. (I am also tired of women who have so completely bought into a corporate and public policy culture of hierarchical competition that they dismiss the realities of a diversity of perspectives along with their potential advantages.) As a negotiator, I would be a complete idiot to exclude the worldviews, experiences and cognitive processes of any particular group of people that I was either representing or with whom I was negotiating. Life experience shapes leadership and world views. Any successful negotiation concerning either individuals or communities and nations must necessarily include input from both men and women (or critical concerns/needs get left out and what is agreed upon becomes untenable in actual practice). My advice: stop reacting with such violent emotion when being asked to expand your understanding of human beings, and accept that different people have had different life experiences and therefore hold different world views than you do. Knowledge is empowerment, not just for the person you are being asked to empathize with, but for yourself. If you are truly critical of this work, then seek out alternative voices on the same topic -- the true differences in life experience and cognitive processes that can be influenced by gender; such books as Deborah Tannen's. Fry and others, while excellent sources for negotiation in general, do not even touch upon these areas. We may be inclined to prefer objectivity, but most of this world in reality is influenced more often by passions. Only in understanding the origin of those passions can we hope to achieve fair and successful outcomes.

Useful and Constructive

This is a useful and constructive book, not a rant. I'm giving They Don't Get It Do They? five stars because it's a really good book. It might be helpful to quote from Warren Bennis' own words about this book, as they appear on my copy which is the paperback edition: "Kathleen Reardon has placed her perceptive stethoscope to the proverbial 'glass ceiling' and discovered some novel ways to shatter that obstacle (for women and, interestingly enough, for men, too). Finally, a book that helps men and women learn some terrific ways to communicate to make the workplace more productive, creative, convivial and fun."

This book is a must-read for progressive executives.

Reardon has a straightforward message that goes to the heart of corporate communications. 'They Don't Get it...' is a perfect title. As many business leaders face an uncertain future, the information contained in this book adds important tools to further diversity in the workplace. Human resources professionals would gain value by improving their understanding of the gender conflict in the workplace. CEOs could empower both themselves and their key executives by closing the gap in communications with female workers.