The Way I Used to Be (Collector's Edition)

By Amber Smith

Book Overview

This special edition features a foil-stamped paper over board cover, stenciled sprayed edges, and bonus content

Amber Smith's extraordinary, New York Times bestselling, TikTok sensation debut novel "is a heart-twisting, but ultimately hopeful, exploration of how pain can lead to strength" (The Boston Globe) about a teenager struggling to cope in the aftermath of being assaulted.

Eden has always been good at being good. Starting high school doesn't change that. But the night her brother's best friend rapes her, Eden's world capsizes.

What was once simple is now complex. What Eden once loved--who she once loved--she now hates. What she thought she knew to be true is now lies. Nothing makes sense anymore, and she knows she's supposed to tell someone what happened, but she can't. So she buries it instead. And she buries the way she used to be.

Told in four parts--freshman, sophomore, junior, and senior year--this provocative debut reveals the deep cuts of trauma. But it also demonstrates one young woman's strength as she navigates the disappointment and unbearable pains of adolescence, of first love and first heartbreak, and of friendships broken and rebuilt, all while learning to embrace the power of survival she never knew she had hidden within her heart.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: B0DXD5K5DW
• ISBN13: 9798347101443
• Release Date: December 2025
• Publisher: Margaret K. McElderry Books
• Length: 416 Pages
• Weight: 1.17 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.2" x 5.8" x 8.5"
• Age Range: 14 to 17 years
• Grade Range: Grades 9 to 12

Customer Reviews

Amazing

The book tells a story that's relatable, and moves you to tears or makes you angry. For her and yourself.

Couldn’t put it down!!

I absolutely loved this book, it’s a page turner! It’s such a heartbreaking book yet so relatable. Eden deserved so much better :(

I cried and felt so emotionally connected to Edy

I bought this book based off a tiktok recc and I'm glad I did. I really enjoyed how author split the book into high school grades because I understood the development of each character. Not going to lie I didn't think this book was going to make me feel as EMOTIONAL AS IT DID. Edy DESERVED LOVE, even though the way things played out, in my eyes she always deserved so much more than what she thought she did. I highly recommend this book and some tissues :))))))

Could not stop turning the page!

Great book! The author did an amazing job with splitting the book into four sections (Freshman, Sophomore, Junior, and Senior), it helped me follow along as the main character changed throughout the chapters and her high school career. I wish there was more to the ending of the book. When I finished it left me wanting more, to know what happened after. Easy read though and definitely recommend!

Beyond amazing

This is by far one of my favorite books and I can’t count how many times I’ve read it over. I couldn’t put it down. I highly recommend. This is an amazing book that is extremely well written and makes you feel every emotion. Love love love it.