The Vampire Is Just Not That Into You

By Vlad Mezrich

Love bites...we can help. This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0545202388
• ISBN13: 9780545202381
• Release Date: October 2009
• Publisher: Scholastic Paperbacks
• Length: 176 Pages
• Weight: 0.36 lbs.
• Dimensions: 7.5" x 0.3" x 5.5"
• Age Range: 12 years and up
• Grade Range: Grade 7 and higher

Customer Reviews

Fun Fluff, with Fangs

"Vlad Mezrich" is a pseudonym for a team of Scholastic writers who pooled their satirical talents to create this fun little book (David Levithan is the editor). The Vampire Is Just Not That Into You parodies dating guides, teen-magazine quizzes, and most of all, current tropes in vampire literature. Twilight (The Twilight Saga, Book 1) gets the lion's share of Vlad's snark, but there are references to Anne Rice, Bram Stoker, and others as well. Aspiring Bellas and Minas will learn how to tell a vampire from an ordinary goth or emo boy, how to attract a vampire, how to convince him to make you his immortal beloved, and how to recognize the signs of a relationship gone south. In true teen-magazine fashion, The Vampire Is Just Not That Into You features advice, quizzes, horoscopes, and "testimonial" quotes from bloodsucking fiends and the girls who love them. These sections are interspersed with notes from a vampire slayer, who has a very different perspective on things! While this is a lighthearted, fluffy book, it actually does a great job of highlighting some disturbing vampire-lit tropes. Stalking is not romantic, and a guy who is torn between loving you and killing you is probably not Mr. Right. I can sit here as a curmudgeonly adult reader and blather about this till I'm blue in the face, but "Vlad" makes the same point much more effectively with humor. The Vampire Is Just Not That Into You is a quick read and a great way to kill an hour or two. It reminded me a bit of Neil Zawacki's How to Be a Villain: Evil Laughs, Secret Lairs, Master Plans, and More!!!, another satirical "how-to" book that gleefully skewers literary and cinematic clichés.

The Vampire Is Just Not That Into You

For those of you who've ever wanted to date a vampire, this is the book for you. Written by vampire expert Vlad Mezrich, this book has all the answers to those burning vampire questions. Learn how to distinguish between those smoldering vampire looks, and decode text messages and aggressive actions. Is he really into you, or just being undead? From hookup to breakup, Vlad will help you find the perfect way to snag a vampire boyfriend (because, after all, he is one). The book starts out as fun and engaging, and the use of satire fits the subject perfectly. This is one book where the design outshines the writing. The red and black printing perfectly complements lots of lists, testimonials, quizzes, and diagrams that teach the best way to navigate the waters of vampire romance. However, even a book this short could have stood to be a little shorter. By the end the continuous line of quizzes and lists was starting to get a little repetitive. Nevertheless, //Twilight// fans will eat this up, as it appeals to both the romantic side and has tons of subtle references readers will love picking out of the text. A great read for the true vampire romance fanatic. Reviewed by Alyssa Feller