The Unguide to Dating: A He Said/She Said on Relationships

by Todd Hertz and Camerin Courtney

Forty percent of the U.S. adult population is single. And the majority of those singles feel pressured to find ''the one.'' But dating as an adult is not easy, especially in a culture that targets... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0800730763
• ISBN13: 9780800730765
• Release Date: January 2006
• Publisher: Fleming H. Revell Company
• Length: 207 Pages
• Weight: 0.66 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.5" x 6.2" x 8.5"

Customer Reviews

The Best unGuide Available

Many Christian dating books start with the premise that there's something wrong with you if you're single. The plethora of how-to-get-hitched volumes say that if you follow their prescribed steps and concoct their formulas, then poof! You'll be happily ever after married. The unGuide to Dating: A He Said/She Said on Relationships stands out in crowd of methodical, one-dimensional Christian living books. Authors Camerin Courtney (a thirty-something Today's Christian Woman editor), and Todd Hertz (a twenty-something Campus Life editor) are both single and understand our generation's unique dating plights. Dating is more complicated now than ever before-especially for Christians. There are fewer single men in the church, changing gender roles, Internet dating, speed dating, shows like The Bachelor, and the effects of higher divorces rates to add to the mix. Singles are waiting longer to get married and Christians seem to be experiencing a dating drought. This book could've been a vague diatribe, pointing fingers at the ills of society and what's wrong with men and women, but it's not. The authors get vulnerable and share their own mishaps and victories, while challenging readers to take a good look inward too. They add to the dating discussion with ChristianSinglesToday.com reader input. Readers (especially those on the older side of 25) should relate well to stories and insights shared here. Expect practical suggestions in this dialogue on dating, not just a list of do's and don'ts. The male and female pair's authentic approach gives a much-needed mature, fun, and candid perspective. The unGuide has no money-back guarantee, but neither does real life-or dating.

Easy, easy read.

The "Unguide to dating" is a viewpoint written from two singles perspectives. One a man (Todd Hertz) one a woman.(Camerin Courtney) They each takes a turn in every chapter (Changing Gender Roles,Internet dating,etc) based on their unique experiences. I have been a fan of Ms. Courtney writings for years. Both her articles in Christianitytoday.com and her recent "Table for One" book have interested me in their easy insightfulness. I have never read anything by Hertz, but Courtney's name is enough of a recommendation. There is not a great deal of "meat" in this book. For a meaningful discussion on why a Christian may still be single and/or to accept that we may never marry I recommend Ms. Lori White blunt "the Single Truth" or Ms. Courtney breezy "table for One." "Unguide to Dating" is simply a book of two single Christians closing on to middle age telling of their humorous, frustrating and often enjoyable experiences as Dating in Christdom. And putting it in a larger context. They are especially interesting when putting their own (typical) single life in contrast with the myth of TV/Movies single life. I have said that there is not much "meat" in this book. I did not mean that as a negative. It is as breezy and enjoyable as sitting with two friends talking about life as Christian singles and the time fly by just as fast. I finished this in one sitting. Don't be surprise if you do the same.

Commitment-phobic Camerin

Camerin is a commitment-phobe. I have seen this type of woman many times over the past 23 years I have pursued relationships with women. Women over 30 who have never been married generally are in one of 3 categories which make them unmarriageable: 1. Physically unattractive (a minority) 2. Bad character (the BIG one- I encountered many of these: wackos, flakes etc.) 3. commitment-phobic (They pass conditions 1 & 2 but they have no real desire for marriage) Then there is the angry bitter divorcee with kids. I do not want these women. Besides their being emotionally scarred there are two reasons: 1. I do NOT want to deal with the ex-spouse and his kids. 2. I want my own children and older women with kids almost always do not want more even if they are still physically able. In the book they talk about friendship. Forget it. Women at the singles groups I go to are not looking for friends. They are only looking for a date. If they don't want to date you, they give you nothing more than the time of day. EVERY time I've ever been LJBF'd (let's just be friends) by a woman, she did not want to be friends. This is her way of telling me she wanted nothing to do with me. I also did internet dating as the authors recommended. Complete disaster. As soon as those women saw my age they instantaneously rejected me. I did manage to get three dates with 3 different women(one date each). All three never spoke to me again after the date. Why does Todd fear being a father later in life? Many famous men throughout history have done it. If God did not want us men to have children later in life He would have given us biological clocks. If Todd still thinks he is too old to have kids he can get a vascetomy. I believe the reason we men have more years to father childern is to have time to get through the thousands of rejections from women. The average woman will have more mating opportunity in her childbearing years than the average man will have in his entire lifetime.