The Single Girl's Guide to Marrying a Man, His Kids, and His Ex-Wife: Becoming A Stepmother With Humor And Grace

by Sally Bjornsen

Book Overview

A funny, honest, and empathetic resource for the novice stepmother on maintaining sanity, solving hair-raising identity issues, regaining a sense of humor, and surviving what you did for love.... What... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0451214196
• Release Date: April 2005
• Publisher: Berkley
• Length: 256 Pages
• Weight: 0.55 lbs.
• Dimensions: 8.2" x 0.6" x 5.5"

Customer Reviews

The book was enjoyable and helpful.

I enjoyed reading this book and reading parts of it aloud to my boyfriend who has 100% custoday of his 3 children (11, 9, and 7 years old.) It added an extra perspective for him to hear other than my same comments/complaints. Some of the stories the author told could have been about me and my interactions with my boyfriend and his children. The book made me feel like I wasn't crazy for having the frustrated feelings I had been going through - which lowered my stress level. Now a couple of months later - I think back to the book and remind myself not to take myself so seriously, kids are kids, I need to have fun, enjoy our life and be thankful for the small things - The oldest asking for help with decimals because her dad can't explain it right, impromptu hugs from the middle, and construction paper books written by the youngest about what she loves to do with me - cook dinner, rollerblade, read in bed... The book was enjoyable and helpful.

A must-read for new step-moms

I highly recommend this book to women who are new step-moms, or are on their way to becoming a step-mom. I had a hard time finding information about step-parenting that spoke to my situation specifically-I was 32 when I married my husband, had never been married before and had no children of my own. I struggled with the changes in my life, and it was frustrating when I couldn't find information that was helpful to me. Sally Bjornsen's insights into being a step-parent are extremely helpful, and come from the heart. I have found myself re-reading chapters, or the "Sassy Stepmother Straightscoop" tips at the end of each segment. Now that I have two years of step-motherhood under my belt, I know that I have come along a long way since the early days of my relationship with my husband, his kids, and yes, the ex-wife, too. This book reminds you that this experience is a "personal journey" and while some of your feelings and behaviors don't always make you feel very good, there is a reason for and a purpose behind your feelings! Be aware of this so you can grow and move forward in your experience. The author has included a great resource guide at the end of the book - many helpful websites and books. I would also recommend that the husband/father read this book as well-it's a great way to open the door to having those important discussions!

THANK GOD this book exists! This is the review you need to read.

If you found this title, you are in the author's shoes. You are seriously involved, married, or engaged (where I'm at) to a man with kids and a less-than-cool ex-wife. You know that things are bound to get increasingly complicated and you've probably experienced some of that complexity already. I knew problems would come but felt definite anxiety about what may happen in the future with this wonderful man, but his not so wonderful ex-wife and two normal, but young, children. I wanted to know more about what to expect and get some hints as to how to handle the situations that are coming my way relatively soon. This book is exactly what the title implies: it is for women that are not mothers, don't necessarily have interest in being one (at this moment, at least), and haven't been married before. Hence, the "Single Girl's Guide" part. BUT that "single" woman has fallen in love with a *wonderful* man who also happens to be a struggling part-time father. Hell, I didn't expect this to happen in a thousand years! I'm also not an expert on divorced families- I needed something to make me feel a little (or a lot!) more prepared for the "fun" that awaits me after what will be a fabulous wedding! I'd rather be knowledgeable and ready when weird stepmom situations present themselves, rather than feel broadsided when I didn't have to be. I felt obligated to write a review because of the few, but entirely lame, reviews I saw when searching for a proper book. I now know that the negative reviews are from people that either 1) Are not facing an oncoming role transformation from self-sustaining woman to partial, but nonetheless important, mother- but maybe incorrectly found this title because they are in a somewhat different and possibly non-applicable situation; 2) Didn't get past the first chapter (Definitely true for some of the reviewers-I realized that upon reading only the first few pages); or 3) Don't have a sense of humor and decent reading comprehension skills. (Sorry to offend, but I must speak the truth so that women in this weird predicament can feel support in some way!) The author does in fact give many helpful clues and hints for how to think about situations and how to handle yourself with your partial & brand new kids and others in the kid/mommy sector of society. She also helps you understand- Like with the single example that the reviewers noted (which is in the first few pages, btw)repeatedly- that your boyfriend/fiance/husband is being a good father and that you fell in love with him because of his caring traits. But if you act like uber-b*tch (cuss words, insults, immaturity & all), then don't expect him to drop his 3-10 year-old (that doesn't know any better & is in that whole difficult process known as "development") to rush to you. (Yeah, the negative reviewers left that characterization out if it, didn't they? Not so "disturbing" when you read whole chapters.) Overall, the author becomes the buddy you

Yikes, it hits close to home!

Although I'm not getting married, I'm very involved with my boyfriend and his five year old son. Recently, we started talking about moving in together and I started to panic. I've had a lot of experience with children, but the territory of co-parenting was new. I realized I had different ideas of parenting and many insecurities about the overall "situation". Questions, feelings, observations, things I had let go of were all issues now. Angry outbursts and frustrated remarks made our relationship go from blissful to sour. It finally came to the point where we both turned to each other and said, "I've never done this before!" When I opened the book and started reading, it felt good that I wasn't going crazy and that I wasn't alone. I told him that I want him to read the book so he could see my perspective--and why it's the 'tiny' things that are a big deal. It also gives me insight to what he's going through. Glad to find this gem.

A GREAT read!!!

Sally and her fellow stepmoms become your girlfriends! You get every conceivable stepmom scenario, from every view point. No sugar coating here! Plus you get to read it in the privacy of your own home. Hilarious, witty, warm and smart! A quick read (couldn't put it down)!! Sex in the City for Stepmoms. Would make an fantastic sitcom. Hope Sally writes more! She has a wonderful writing style!