The Shart Survival Guide: A Tactical Manual

By Tim Settini and Gen J.D. 'Clench' McGlutes Ret.

Don't settle for a gag gift that's a one-time laugh. The Shart Survival Guide is the gift that delivers new laughs every time it's opened, making it the ultimate bathroom or coffee table book.

Written by the decorated but deeply scarred General J.D. 'Clench' McGlutes (Ret.), this is the standard-issue field manual for surviving gastrointestinal terrorism. Contained within this guide is the declassified, hard-won intelligence every soldier needs to avoid a catastrophic loss of dignity.

Inside, you will learn to:

Master the 5 SHARTCON Readiness Levels: From "Peace Time" to "Catastrophic Failure," know the threat before it strikes.

Identify High-Risk Dietary Insurgents: Recognize threats like the Airport Burrito and Gas Station Hot Dogs ("a war crime in edible form").

Utilize the Richter Fecal Scale: A modern system for classifying shart intensity from a 1.0 Micro-Shart to a 9.0+ "The Great One".

Deploy Life-Saving Maneuvers: Learn the "Art of the Clench" and advanced field tactics for escaping any high-stakes environment.

The perfect gag gift for dads, brothers, coworkers, and any soldier in the silent war. Ideal for white elephant, secret Santa, and birthdays. Don't just give a cheap laugh, give the gift of survival.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: B0FPRMYR9X
• ISBN13: 9798263676667
• Release Date: September 2025
• Publisher: Independently Published
• Length: 84 Pages
• Weight: 0.48 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.2" x 8.5" x 11.0"