The Red Lily
"YOU WILL NEVER BECOME a part of this family " I shuddered upon hearing my brother's painful words, a direct rejection of my own existence. I've heard this before when I was still a child but hearing it again at this age hurts me more. I staggered to my feet, swaying a little as I took a step back. Why didn't I realize this before? They've been treating me diAerently ever since I came into this house, like I'm some trash instead of a human. Even the servants working here are treating me the same way, with disgust and hostility. Snd I've been wondering why they have come to hate me when I, as a child, only wanted to be loved. Was it because of the 'common blood' Howing in me? Right. I caught myself smiling as I stared down on the ground, the thoughts Dlling my head starting to make sense to me. Illegitimate children are unwanted children in this empire. But it's not like we begged to be brought upon this world. If I had the choice, I would've chosen not to be born. "5et out of my sight " I heard his thunderous voice again, but this time, it didn't make me Hinch. Would it be Dne to just die and disappear? My skills, talent, and power would be wasted, but who cares about that? My own family couldn't acknowledge me anyway. The cold breeze sipped underneath my skin, and it made me feel calmer than ever. I've always liked this part of the garden, maybe it's because of the lake that reminded me of my mother. Sh. My mother. I turned my head to the lake beside us and it glistened as the ray of the sun hit its surface. What if I drown myself in its majestic waters? It'd be wonderful to join my mother soon enough in the afterlife. I could feel Caspian's gaze following me, then he scoAed. -e must be thinking that I look stupid with how I am acting right now. But I ignored him. The self7loathing seeping under my skin distracted me.
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