The Princess and the Plumber: Beast to Beauty

By M David Lutz

Princess Tundra has a problem. A big one. Several, actually. For starters, she is the largest and least aesthetically pleasing maiden in the entire realm. Where the Kingdom of Camelot was a musical-a comedy best describes the Kingdom of Parking-Lot, with a royal family whose common sense was neither common nor evident.
Naturally, her parents-the King and Queen-want her married off immediately, preferably to a prince or at least something wearing pants, but might have to settle for someone with a pulse. Enter Olaf: a towering oaf with the emotional intelligence of a damp sponge but the loyalty of a golden retriever. He becomes her friend, mostly because she desperately needs one and he needs to be needed to feel significant.
The King summons his court magician, out of desperation, a man whose magical r sum lacks any successful accomplishments. He could not even make a glass of juice with a cup and an orange. Predictably, his beauty potion goes catastrophically wrong, sending Tundra into a deep sleep reminiscent of Sleeping Beauty-but with absolutely none of the beauty
As Tundra slowly wastes away, the King dispatches the best of his knights, who were still scraping the bottom of the barrel. The bumbling, clanking, directionally challenged armored men embark on a quest to find a cure in a land so far away it does not even have a name. They gallop forth with great enthusiasm and absolutely no idea where they are going.
Unbeknownst to them, the Queen has secretly granted Olaf's request to accompany them to ensure their success. Along the way, they face ridiculous dangers, improbable creatures, and a debate at the entrance at the Valley of Death, which will change the course of the mission.
Will they succeed? Will Tundra awaken? Will the knights ever find the way back to their kingdom?
This is not your usual fairy tale. It's a grown-up romp that pokes fun at royalty, romance, heroism, and anyone standing too close. Beneath the absurdity lies a story with surprising warmth, touching moments, and enough humor to make you laugh out loud at inappropriate moments.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: B084DKDBM3
• ISBN13: 9798608974915
• Release Date: February 2020
• Publisher: Independently Published
• Length: 240 Pages
• Weight: 0.72 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.5" x 6.0" x 9.0"