THE PRAYER OF HELP

By CHUBBY CHECKMATER

Excerpt from ''ORPAH'': OPRAH WINFREY Why then, were you found guilty by a jury of your peers, & sentenced by Judge Peter Cahill, to 22 & a 1/2 years in prison? What''s the real reason, do you believe? Because watching you kneel there with your knee in Mr. George Floyd''s neck for 9 minutes & 29 seconds feels like an eternity. It literally feels like forever. And it reminds me of a lynching every time I try to watch it. I cannot even make it through the entire video. It''s just far far too disturbing for my spirit. Ya know what I mean? It''s too uncomfortable for me to watch. Just like My Son. Ya know I had Myself A Son? DEREK CHAUVIN Unique. I''d no idea. OPRAH WINFREY Starved. I was 61-years-old before I even found enough courage to give it a name. Ready? Canaan! (Opera voice) Canaan means new land, new life. DEREK CHAUVIN Hm. That''s interesting. Our rabbi teaches us that Canaan represents the curse of Ham. "Cursed be Canaan! The lowest of slaves he will be to his brothers." - The Book of Genesis, chapter 9, verse 25. No gross nigligence charges? OPRAH WINFREY Ha! That''s too funny! No. I just couldn''t watch it. No grave. No proper burial. Just couldn''t. It died. I flushed. Done. Nor can I watch George Floyd. Nor A Palestinian Genocide in Gaza. Op a hoarda, not a Huda. Blood onnat money & I still count it. (Wipes her House hands clean) The bombardment reminds me of when we voted to tear down the projects. Cabrini- Green welfare recipients were All like: "Dis ours! Why y''all bussin'' our buildings up? Whatchall displacin'' us fo?" Sheer ignorance. I know I certainly felt safer walking my real kids, Sophie & Solomon, at night. So I say: "Ceasefire shmeasefire, Color Purple police wire." Steddie calls it the hidden cost of success. Have I personally swindled enough shekels yet? It''s all relative, isn''t it? Would Hattie Mae & Vernita love me for me yet? Would Vernon finally be proud? Can Black people''s "Um so happy for you''s!" outweigh their "Pretty please, Oprah help me''s!"? Ok then, so, doesn''t really matter much 1 way or the slave culture other. O''s nobody''s bank, & no''s a complete sentence. It my fault They hunger & thirst? My Black responsibility? Whom shall I wear to the GG''s & Oscars is the real dilemma. We''ve sponsorships to consider. Arthur C. Brooks & I wrote a book entitled: Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier. See, Ukrainian children are a bit different. Less oppressed. It really is art & science. So people get mad & wanna flog the hell outta me, just like my family did, & it''s provocative, even sorta sexual for me. But I''m with the winners. Nan nanny boo boo, ya know? Whatever it takes for me to be happy. That''s the reason I''m so wealthy. Alla the other stuff, I slam. Just can''t watch. DEREK CHAUVIN Nor should you hafta watch it, after being misled by the media. I''m the real victim, Oprah. My stellar reputation''s been lynched. Fake news is what got the mobs out there all riled up. I was doing my job, like every officer by my side that day. We''re good cops. The good guys, risking our lives to keep you safe. And I just thank God for An eloquent Negro American woman like yourself, who''s been privileged with enough grace to engage in an articulate conversation, listen closely, hear me on out, & consider my side, instead of buying into all the Black Lives Matter propaganda. White Lives Matter! And those radical types, who like to talk all that "Defund The Police" horse manure, we''re still the 1st 1''s they call whenever lil nigra shooters get to bussin'' off rounds at each other in their hoods. Knowmsayin''? OPRAH WINFREY I do. Over Air Force 1''s. I went on & sold Harpo Studios to McDonald''s, in Chicago, & told all my peasants to go fill out an application; my court jester included. Living my best life, & owe no explanations, Der. "Honorary Oprah Winfrey Way," or "Ronald McDonald Ave." What''s the Big Mac difference? Ozempic! @_RVRND_

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: B0CWDMVB6K
• ISBN13: 9798882510472
• Release Date: February 2024
• Publisher: Independently published
• Length: 451 Pages
• Dimensions: 11.2" x 1.3" x 8.5"