The Parrot and The Savant

By Robin Knowles

I am Blackbeard. I'm a parrot. I own an exclusive bar and grill named after me. It's called The Eloquent Parrot, of course. It's on Siesta Key one block east of one of the finest beaches in the world just south of Sarasota, Florida. The exterior is deliberately unimpressive. It looks as if it's assembled from pieces of wrecked ships - sun-bleached thick weathered wood - two stories tall - dreadnaught sturdy - with galley of course, a special cabin for the Captain to conduct business, and a mysterious upper deck - AKA a second story.
It's surrounded by banyan trees, with an occasional cocoanut tree thrown in. Even the parking spaces are plain and poorly marked in the gravel-only lot. But don't you dare park in a handicapped space. An exotic garden back behind the kitchen is filled with mysterious medicinal and poisonous plants. This place is outwardly low-key. I do this intentionally to keep property taxes down.
The interior is much nicer, refined even.
It's cool, quiet, and classy inside with tropical plants, polished mahogany and brass in abundance. You can have conversation anywhere inside without being bothered by raucous laughter, breaking dishes or loud arguments. The barstools and some of the chairs are made from carved ivory whalebone and driftwood. A small, designated dancing floor is set apart from general dining. Roger, my bouncer, dances barefoot, (not supposed to) with women who are so inclined. A jukebox provides music. I memorize lyrics and do a fair impression. It keeps me up to date on witty things to recite.
I'm open primarily for unassuming, intelligent, open-minded and refined adults like you who come to relax and be entertained. An occasional character might come in looking to have his or her life made right or have a problem fixed. Captain Edward Teach does that. He works out of an office behind the bar where he has tons of electrical gadgets I don't understand.
Cap'n Teach was born with another name. That's a way for him to be a modern man of the sea, hide his true age and stay out of the news. He's been around. He's rich. Don't tell anybody, but he's a sociopath. He's not particularly friendly, but he's smart. He doesn't like his father. He doesn't care for rules much, he has his own code. Women love him. He's been married thirteen times, but only once legally and Hibiscus put an end to that.
I reign and watch all that goes on from a perch at a horseshoe shaped cutout in the bar. It's the best seat in the house. I hear the tales told by people who imbibe and think I can keep a secret - which I can. I like my music. Women from all over come to sit a safe distance from me and flirt. I do my best to stay aloof, but you see, I love beautiful women too. A brass plaque on the bar has the rules cast into it. If I say anything to a lovely, she rings the ship's bell next to me, then Captain Teach comes out of his office and pays her bar tab. You can guess what happens after that.
One other thing about me, then I'll tell you about the people who work for me. I'm witty, funny even. At least I think so. The Captain doesn't necessarily agree. I'm well behaved. One time, though, I bit the nose off a lecherous nasty lawyer from Miami who deserved it, but otherwise I'm a total sweetheart.
Now about my mistress, Hibiscus. She's owned me forever. She's the sexiest, prettiest, most attractive woman in the universe. She's black, three hundred years old, speaks with a Jamaican accent so you can sometimes understand her - and she's a voodoo priestess. She always has a hibiscus flower behind her ear. She belongs to the Captain too, making things complicated. She directs the staff at The Captain's behest

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: B0FP5CWFRZ
• ISBN13: 9798999959003
• Release Date: August 2025
• Publisher: Waterhole Press
• Length: 254 Pages
• Weight: 0.76 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.5" x 6.0" x 9.0"