The Oxford Book of Marriage

By Helge Rubinstein

Book Overview

For richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, virtually everyone at one time in his or her life utters the fateful words: "I do." Many of us live to regret these words, but as Charles Darwin noted in his journal: "There's many a happy slave." Now, in The Oxford Book of Marriage, Helge Rubinstein takes us "happy slaves" on a truly special tour--both richly intimate and at times wildly amusing--of the many faces of married life. It's all here: the first meetings and courtship and proposals (such as Mister Collins's absurd proposal to Elizabeth Bennet in Pride and Prejudice) through the many ups and downs of married life until "death do us part."
Here readers will discover Queen Victoria the day after her wedding, feeling "the happiest, happiest Being that ever existed." And Karl Marx's daughter describing her elderly parents' marriage: "When they were together they were young again, she a loving girl and he a loving youth, on the threshold of life." Of course, not every marriage is pure bliss: witness the total war in a scene from "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" or Sofia Tolstoy's bitter reflection in old age: "For the whole of my life I have single-mindedly and unwaveringly loved a man who was utterly selfish and returned all my feelings with a withering and pitiless scorn." And yet Chaucer's lusty Wife of Bath, who spoke from experience about the misery and woe of marriage, could exclaim "Blessed be God that I have wedded five / Welcome the sixth, whenever he appears. / I can't keep continent for years and years." And Winston Churchill could write to his wife Clementine: "My greatest good fortune in a life of brilliant experience has been to find you and to lead my life with you."
In compiling this marvelous reader, Rubinstein has combed novels, love letters, poems, plays, and memoirs, providing a kaleidoscope of marraige that spans over two thousand years. There is much here that amuses, much that moves, much that comforts. The Oxford Book of Marriage will make an especially thoughtful and unique shower, wedding, or anniversary gift. It is the kind of book that becomes a treasured keepsake, read and reread over the years.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0192141503
• ISBN13: 9780192141507
• Release Date: June 1990
• Publisher: Oxford University Press
• Length: 398 Pages
• Weight: 1.45 lbs.
• Dimensions: 8.9" x 1.4" x 5.8"

Customer Reviews

A fine anthology but missing a crucial dimension

This is a fine anthology of literary selections on various aspects of marriage. It is primarily positive about marriage but is not shy about presenting a whole host of complaints about it. Two of the interesting selections in the beginning are Darwin's and Kafka's in which they make a list of pros and cons in regard to it. There are wise words about various aspects of married life, including those which distinguish between youthful passionate marriages and the often more gentle companionships of old age. The selection of writers is wide, with a great emphasis on the British though there are generous citations from the master writer on the subject( who did less well in real life) Tolstoy. Quarreling and disagreement in marriage gets a chapter, as does divorce. The chapter on children and their effect on a Marriage has many insights, but is perhaps shorter than it should be. One element I found missing in the Anthology relates to the sanctity of marriage, of how Marriage ideally brings people to a higher spiritual level. There are few citations from religious sources, though one beautiful one from the Song of Songs. In the Jewish Tradition Marriage is considered an essential life- step, and there is a sense that the person has not fully lived without being married. This is a truly enjoyable anthology which I reread with great pleasure.

Oxford Book of Marriage Review

Anyone who enjoyes contemplating the joys and absurdities of married life would enjoy this book. It also makes an ideal wedding present for any couple that is somewhat intellectually inclined. It is a well-organized compilation of excerpts from literature through the ages, ancient to modern, all relating to the topic of marriage - from the comical to the sublime. Highly recommended.