The Mostly Harmless and Useless Guide to Nothing Very Useful

By Tom Ball

THE MOSTLY HARMLESS AND USELESS GUIDE TO NOTHING VERY USEFUL
By Tom Ball
Barnaby was a man of simple pleasures, namely collecting bread-bag tags and being professionally average. His life's greatest crisis was the day he was replaced by a velvet rope. That is, until he accidentally boarded a galactic garbage scow while looking for the Number 42 bus.
Now, Barnaby is the only thing standing between the universe and total linguistic collapse. Drafted as a "Neutral Arbiter" in a 300-year civil war fought entirely over the placement of an apostrophe, he must navigate a galaxy filled with: Pedantic Generals who weaponize grammar.Existential Dread People who just want you to admit life is a bit of a bore.A Sentient Toaster with a Ph.D. in browning levels and a very bad attitude.From the soggy streets of Earth to the Cosmic Kitchen at the edge of reality, Barnaby is on a quest to press the Universe's Reset Button. The only problem? The reboot takes ten billion years, and he's fairly certain he left the kettle on back home.
A 20-chapter epic about the beauty of being completely, utterly, and unapologetically useless

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: B0GZF55KSR
• ISBN13: 9798195362744
• Release Date: May 2026
• Publisher: Independently Published
• Length: 232 Pages
• Weight: 0.70 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.5" x 6.0" x 9.0"