The Magic of Dialogue: Transforming Conflict Into Cooperation

by Daniel Yankelovich

Book Overview

In this groundbreaking work, famed social scientist and world-famous public opinion expert Daniel Yankelovich reinvents the ancient art of dialogue. Successful managers have always known how to make decisions and mobilize coworkers. But as our businesses continue to expand, conversations and discussions just aren't enough to bring people and their different agendas together anymore. Dialogue, when properly practiced, will align people with a shared...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0684865661
• ISBN13: 9780684865669
• Release Date: September 2001
• Publisher: Touchstone Books
• Length: 240 Pages
• Weight: 0.90 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.8" x 5.5" x 8.5"

Customer Reviews

More Shared Space for Better Alternatives and Cooperation!

Think of this book as a work of applied emotional intelligence. Fans of Daniel Goleman (author of Emotional Intelligence and Emotional Intelligence at Work) will applaud this book, for it helps to expand the emotional intelligence of us all in collectively developing and agreeing to better solutions for emotionally and factually difficult issues. For some time, the decision theorists have been focusing on ways to structure joint decisions (such as those involved in negotiations) to help the people involved perceive the shared interests they have, and how to serve them. In books like Getting to Yes, Getting Past Now, Smart Choices, and (most recently) Beyond Winning, we are encouraged to open up the scope of our considerations with others to find solutions that serve both sides well. Those books appeal to the intellect and are quite valuable for defining the game-playing and quantitative aspects of the issues.As an example(from Getting to Yes), two children are fighting over an orange. The parent decides the battle by cutting the orange in half, and giving one-half to each child. One child eats the fruit and throw away the peel from his half. The other child uses the peel for cooking and throws away the fruit. Even though the solution of giving all the peel to the child who wants to cook and all the fruit to the child who wants to eat it would have been perfect, that option never emerged. Everyone is the loser relative to the ideal solution. In The Magic of Dialogue, Professor Daniel Yankelovich takes on the lack of shared emotional space from the perspective of sociology, and extends the understanding of working with others that we all need to create these win-win alternatives and agreements. I found this book to be an important expansion of the subject matters of collaborative thinking and problem solving. The book is organized around first establishing collaboration as a much-needed expansion of the way we interact with others. Next, the book does an excellent job of defining 15 strategies (neatly summarized on pages 127-128, following excellent earlier discussions and examples), and outlining 10 potholes that can get in the way (as bad thinking habits) immediately after the summaries of the 15 strategies. Without giving you the whole list, the essence of the concepts here is to create an emotional linkage that allows us to feel empathetic towards the other person. This primarily occurs because we sense that the other person is willing to look at things from our perspective, and that we share either common ideas or values that we can respect. After that linkage is established, more information is shared, understood, and incorporated in the group thinking. More empathy builds to more sharing, which leads to more understanding, and so forth. Basically, we can create avirtuous cycle of collaboration and cooperation. The greatest strength of the book is in providing examples of how such emotional connection occurred in many differe

An excellent practical guide to dialogue

This book could not be bettered as a relatively brief and very readable guide to dialogue - how it differs from other forms of conversation, why it is important, the conditions for effective dialogue and strategies for its use in different situations. The style is informal and the examples used are relevant and exactly illustrate the points being made.It does not replace fuller guides, such as Ellinor and Gerard's 'Dialogue', but complements them. Whereas Ellinor and Gerard is of most use to the specialist, this book is invaluable for executives and professionals, and indeed for anyone who is seeking to achieve cooperation in a complex situation. It is particularly valuable for the range of its coverage - from resolving difference within the family to identifying directions for business. It also addresses the wider issues of how society should develop and how ordinary citizens can be fruitfully engaged in the decision processes.The book is in three parts:The Will to Do it: Why Dialogue is Necessary The Skill to Do it: Strategies for Dialogue The Broader Uses of DialogueThe discussion in Parts one and two is cast mostly in the context of organisations. Part three is concerned with the political process, the divide between the elites and the mass of the citizens, the nature of knowledge in a societal context and the advantages of dialogue and barriers to its use in deciding societal directions.

The Magic of Dialogue

This book is the best book on the art of creating Dialogue I have ever read ...it is easy to read w/ excellent examples of real life use...Daniel Yankelovich has answered several questions about previous communications I've had over the years that simply did not meet my expectations...after reading this wonderful book I will undoubtedly have much better communication skills and wish I could go back in time and relive several lost opportunities to connect w/ people.

Excellent book helps you connect meaningfully @home/work.

Algough we all talk, discuss and debate, few of us actually dialogue. And there is much to learn about how to do that successfully and much to gain if you do it. In this short, easy to read book famed social scientist Daniel Yakelovich shows the reader how to create situations that will foster empathy and understanding. This has tremendous ramifications for your professional life ( where much of the book focusses) but also has implications for family and personal life. If we can learn how to understand the other person's point of view, how to defuse angry situations, how to connect meaningfully with another person and how to create a win/win environment -- we will all benefit.

Interesting ideas for both personal and public communication

In this short and readable book, Yankelovich presents a theory of communication, based on his own understanding of dialogue. The book functions on a number of different levels: first, it provides useful strategies for anyone in a leadership position as to how to break through the stalemate and gridlock which are so frequently found in complex organizations; the strategies presented also have an application to everyday life, and can be useful in interpersonal communication within the family as well. Finally, the book also presents a theoretical framework which undergirds the structure. The principles are illustrated with a number of examples and anecdotes that help flesh out the author's meaning.