You said yes. Your evening disappeared.
The request sounded small. You knew how to handle it. Now the work is finished, somebody else is pleased, and your time has become everybody else's contingency plan.
For the person who always handles things, being appreciated can become a remarkably expensive arrangement.
In The Invisible Field, A. H. Reynoso looks at the bargains hidden inside ordinary choices. A task gets done while dinner waits. A boundary can protect one evening and leave somebody else with the work. A favor keeps a relationship comfortable, and the person who agreed is still paying for it after everyone has gone home.
A choice can hide who pays for it.
The book brings affection, ambition, irritation, and responsibility into the same room. Its people can want a commitment and need its terms to change. They can love the person asking and still have a life of their own. Sometimes a clearer request returns a few minutes. Sometimes the person asking has to change what they expect.
You can bring the obligation you keep defending or the answer everyone expects you to give. The interesting question is what that answer requires, 1including the part that disappears when somebody calls you dependable.
What would a reasonable request look like if everyone's time counted?
Priced Behavior examines what makes choices workable, who carries their costs, and what care and responsibility require.
Obvious Things Publishing publishes this book.
Related Subjects
Business Business & Investing Psychology Self Help Self-Help Self-Help & Psychology