The Highly Unlikely History of the World: - (Part Two) -

By Paul Murphy

THE HIGHLY UNLIKELY HISTORY OF THE WORLD - PART TWO

The second volume of Paul Murphy's ... er, 'unique' take on the historical backstory of the nations of the world. Following on the first book, herein covers New Zealand to Zambia, and provides such insights Captain Cook's attempts to get a moa to bring to England:

Cook: "So hello again Chief - have you got the moa you promised me?"
Chief: "Er... I did have, James. It seems to have gone missing during the night though."
Cook: "Oh no "
Chief: "Oh yes. Lovely one it was too. Beautiful plumage."
Cook: "'Beautiful plumage...?' ... where have I heard that to before? And is there any way you can get it back for me?"
Chief: "Oh, we can certainly try. Here, Okk-a-noww, have you seen that moa that we had here yesterday anywhere?"
Okk-a-noww: "Which one was it again?"
Chief: "We only had one. So, that one."
Okk-a-noww: "Remind me what it looked like."
Chief: "Well, it had a beak, feathers, and was 12 feet high."
Okk-a-noww: "Can you be more specific?"
Chief: "It had a beak, feathers, was 12 feet high, and wasn't a fish."
Okk-a-noww: "Was it blue?"
Chief: "No."
Okk-a-noww: "Oh. Well, no, then."
Cook: "Have you GOT a blue one ?"
Okk-a-noww: "No. Have you looked for it, Chief?"
Chief: "Oh yes, we've looked everywhere. Twice."
Okk-a-noww: "Have you looked behind Mrs Gugg-oo-nok's sofa? Easily startled, moas are. Back of the sofa makes a good hiding place. I found an ostrich down the back of mine once. Or was it a walrus? Which one tastes like walrus?"
Chief: "Walrus."
Okk-a-noww: "It was an ostrich then. The walrus was in the shed. Make nice pets, walruses. Very loyal. Used to take mine for walks in the morning, even after it died. Lovely way to start the day."
Cook: "Look, can we get back to the moa? Three times I've sailed all the way from England to get one, last time you promised me faithfully you'd have one the next time I came."
Chief: "Well we did. Turned up the day after you left the last time. What are the odds We fed it, watered it, plaited its feathers, even taught it how to beg. Hard work that, very difficult training a moa to hold a cup out with a board saying 'Hungry & Homeless'. Then I looked out the window this morning and its basket was empty, not a sign of it. Ungrateful bird."
Cook: "How many men have you got out looking for it?"
Chief: "Uhm, let me see. Counting Tag-Nu-Wah, that would make it, uh, one."
Cook: "One That's not many "
Chief: "Well, Tag-Nu-Wah has got very good eyesight."

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: B0FR89HPJJ
• ISBN13: 9798265304339
• Release Date: September 2025
• Publisher: Independently Published
• Length: 144 Pages
• Weight: 0.44 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.3" x 6.0" x 9.0"