The Highly Unlikely History Of The World: - (Part One)

By Paul Murphy D&E

THE HIGHLY UNLIKELY HISTORY OF THE WORLD (PART ONE)

Paul Murphy takes a rip-roaring look at history. I could hype it up, but hey, let's let a free sample give you a clue to what you'll enjoy should you purchase a copy. Better yet, buy 10, you might get 10 times the enjoyment.

ANDORRA
Andorra is a tiny, independent principality situated between France and Spain in the Pyrenees mountains. One of the smallest countries in the world, if you want to stretch your legs in bed your ankles need a tourist visa. It got its name from a decades-long debate about where it was situated:
"It's in France "
"And/or-a Spain " repeat ad infinitum for decades. If you get fed up saying "Ad infinitum", repeat something else for a few years].
Andorra is known for its ski resorts, and a tax-haven status that encourages duty-free shopping. Unfortunately, one of the few items not duty-free in Andorra are skis. To get around this, a thriving black market exits smuggling tourists in dressed as clowns.

Andorra is among the safest countries in the world, with almost zero pickpocketing, car theft and disorderly conduct incidents. It is helped by the fact that trousers, cars, and judiciary are all banned in Andorra.

The national sport of Andorra is goat-vaulting, the unit of currency in Andorra is the cottage pie, and the country is so religious it has five Sundays in a week.

Andorra is so small it does not have newspapers; instead, Monsieur Claude DeStump would go around each house in the morning and tell people what happened yesterday. At first this went well, as Mr DeStump would inform residents about the state of the economy, world events, and the football scores. However, following a decline in sales in the late 1980s, due to the rise in popularity of local gossip M'mselle Juliet Corset, Mr DeStump was taken over by Nows International, and forced to go downmarket; instead of gently knocking on your door and saying "Bon jour, today le International Monetary Fund predict a 2.3% growth in the economy over the next 12 to 18 months", he would bang your door like a sailor on leave, yell "The country's going to hell Lousy government " and then try to sell you double glazing and naughty chat-line numbers.
Fascinating articles in the weekend edition about fell-walking holidays in Snowdonia became sleaze stories and articles about celebrities: "Ms Jones from No.17 is having it off with the milkman " "Her from Baywatch has had her knockers done again "
Oh how the populace yearned for the days that Monsieur DeStump would stand at their door for 16 hours while they did the crossword:
"Two down. 'Way Out', four letters."
"'Unconventional'?"
"That's not four letters, is it?"
"I'm sorry, I never learned to count letters, only numbers. Have we got any of the letters filled in yet?"
"Yes, third letter is an 'i'."
"Hmm. 'Way Out', something something 'i' something. Got it 'Exit' "
"Well done. Now - 14 across - cryptic clue - 'Gilbert and Sullivan opera made cheese on cold Tuesday with left arm of philosopher', ten letters, second one is a 'z'."
"I'll put the kettle on..."

Following the rise in popularity of the Internet, there was even less call for Mr DeStump, who was leased out, and now operates as part of a small-ads company:
Knock knock.
"Good morning Mr DeStump."
"Bon jour Councillor Blanc. Mr Lou Briquant of 39 Marle Avenue has a fridge for sale."
"What's it like?"
"Good working order, paintwork's a bit crap."
"How much does he want for it?"
"100 cottage pies, or very near offer."
"Will he take 20, and a cake?"

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: B0FQV1S2KT
• ISBN13: 9798264852473
• Release Date: September 2025
• Publisher: Independently Published
• Length: 252 Pages
• Weight: 0.75 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.5" x 6.0" x 9.0"