The Funniest Things Ever Said, New and Expanded

Book Overview

Here are1,237 laugh-out-loud quotes, quips, and jokes, all in one packed-to-the-brim volume. Yes, folks, sit back and enjoy this collection of inadvertent gaffes, thigh-slappers, puns, and everything and anything else that'll tickle your funny bone. There's something old, something new, something stolen, and something blue--from favorite comedians, sports and political figures, and literary wits. There are even giggles for the kids and groaners for the grown-ups. Just a few among the 1,237 funniest things ever said:

"I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry."--Rita Rudner

"I don't know if it's good for baseball, but it sure beats the hell out of rooming with Phil Rizzuto."--Yogi Berra on being told that Joe DiMaggio was to marry Marilyn Monroe

"I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died."--Malcolm Forbes

"The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of consciousness. Then, after talking to Bush for a few minutes, he said, 'You know what? Let's just grab lunch.'"--Bill Maher

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1493041193
• ISBN13: 9781493041190
• Release Date: August 2019
• Publisher: Lyons Press
• Length: 344 Pages
• Weight: 0.85 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.7" x 6.0" x 6.9"