The doubtful deeds of Adam Mathews

By Adam Mathews

Shakespeare pulled on a cord and the chainsaw came roaring to life. Clenching his teeth, he hacked off one of the squid's vast tentacles and dodged under another.
He was covered in blood from head to foot now. The huge mechanical animal screamed out of its snapping beak while The Bard used all his strength to saw through another axe-wielding tentacle.
Shakespeare introduced himself to Dr. Mengele. He knew that it was customary to make a brief witticism, or to appear ironically cheerful, in these situations.
"Good morning, Doctor," he began in a seemingly friendly, but secretly unfriendly, manner. "I am the playwright and poet William Shakespeare, otherwise known as the Bard, or the Bad Bard as I prefer. I am a friend of William Wordsworth, another excellent English poet, who is sometimes known as Wordy Wordsworth. William and I are humorously called the "Two Willies" of English literature, and I am going to kill you now."
He jumped off his surfboard and somersaulted into the fresh salty air.
"My pig is whistling " Dr. Mengele shouted, using a normal German expression of disbelief. "Somebody fry me a stork "
When Shakespeare descended, he directed his chainsaw into the centre of the giant squid's ugly unblinking eye.
Behind it, Dr. Mengele gurgled and swore in German while Shakespeare cut his head in half. The water around the mechanical squid was soon dark with blood and bits of its giant eye and the evil floating brains of the Nazi scientist who had escaped to South America after the war and continued his research there.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: B0GTRFTVPV
• ISBN13: 9798253181935
• Release Date: March 2026
• Publisher: Independently Published
• Length: 202 Pages
• Weight: 0.61 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.4" x 6.0" x 9.0"