The DNA of Relationships for Couples

by Greg Smalley

Book Overview

This book shows readers who are struggling in their marriage the steps to take to strengthen and rebuild their marriage relationship. The practical solutions are built on the basic steps that are explained in The DNA of Relationships. Smalley uses fictional couples (based on real client experience) who are grappling with real-life problems ranging from work and family priority balance issues to extramarital affairs. Through the telling of the...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0842383220
• ISBN13: 9780842383226
• Release Date: January 2006
• Publisher: Tyndale House Publishers
• Length: 400 Pages
• Weight: 1.05 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.0" x 5.5" x 8.2"

Customer Reviews

Being part of intensive marriage counseling.

Because this book is written as if you are in an actual intensive marriage counseling session with several couples, you get a real feel for what it would be like. Therefore, if you are a Christian counselor or if you are considering this type of Christian counseling with Dr. Paul and Dr. Smalley, this book is a must-read. You can go to their website to find out more. It will even tell you when the next available time and place are and how to sign up. http://www.nationalmarriage.com/aboutus.asp I enjoyed reading the comments made to the couples as they discussed their problems (ranging from giving up on a long-term marriage to adultery). I found many of the therapists' comments unexpected and refreshing. It helped the couples to look at their situations differently, and gave them hope. Being in a group with other couples felt awkward to the participants in the beginning, but turned out to be very beneficial to each of them - a sort of positive peer pressure. The continuing sessions over a short-period of time (rather than short sessions over a long period of time) helped reveal personality traits and made it more difficult to hide emotions. Obviously the DNA of Relationships principles were applied. But you will need to get their other book to have the principles spelled out. I did not read the other book first and still got a wealth of information out of this book.

scriptural guidance to avoid becoming a doormat

Very useful ideas, very powerful book. I enjoyed getting a "fly on the wall" perspective on what group couples' counseling might look like -- makes for an engaging read, which is a refreshing change from many self-help books. In a lot of ways, the best-fitting program for a marriage that's in trouble probably depends on what the core problems are. Gary Chapman's "The Five Love Languages" is a great book, but probably more helpful for marriage enrichment than for marriages in crisis. Willard Harley's "His Needs, Her Needs" and related materials can be for enrichment or a marriage in crisis. (Harley's work is very good too!) "The DNA of Relationships for Couples" speaks to marriages in crisis -- and while the messages would be helpful for marriage enrichment too, the stories are about marriages that are in significant distress. I'm not sure how I would respond to the book if I were in the midst of a marriage that was rolling merrily along. The ideas about the Fear Dance, as well as scriptural mandates for self-care were very thought provoking and eye-opening for me. It's a scripturally-guided perspective that comes at marriage from a perspective I really did not expect. Instead of talking about endlessly sacrificial love, they do a good job of pointing out where "sacrificial" runs the risk of turning into "doormat." They make a good case for valuing oneself as a child of God, and setting appropriate, God-honoring boundaries in relationships when needed. They also do a nice job of emphasizing the importance of personal responsibility in marriage. The doormat message was one I personally needed to hear, and that makes the DNA book a very good fit for me.

Life Changing Read

I've read many, many marriage books, but none has compared to the depth, wisdom, hope and authenticity of this book. Because of the expertly woven stories, I identified with each couple's struggles. I cheered when they realized where they'd gotten off track and I cringed as I saw myself in their desperation. And through it all, I learned amazing truths about myself, my God and my marriage. Everywhere I go, I hear about the impact of this book and the principles within. If you're struggling in your marriage, longing to see relational health, I highly recommend picking up a copy of this book. Dr. Bob Paul and Dr. Greg Smalley's proven and surprising insight will, if you let it, revolutionize the way you interact with and love your spouse.

out of the classroom

I have been watching, listening to, and reading information about marriage for many years. Never before have I gotten so lost in a marriage book that I hated to put it down. In DNA for Couples the lost art of story-telling is found. As you read about the lives of these other couples, you will find yourself understanding your own relationship better. It feels like the authors have taken the subject of marriage out of the classroom and put it into the living room where it belongs. Just when I thought every marriage book was going to be a revamping of all the others, I waded into this one and realized that there are new ideas and better ways to present them. What a breath of fresh air. You've gotta give this one a try. It is amazing!

Highly recommended reading: married or single

I read "The DNA of Relationships" by Dr. Gary Smalley. The information was so exciting that I have incorporated into my conversational repoire with my family, friends, and work colleagues. "The DNA of Relationships for Couples" by Dr. Greg Smalley and Dr. Robert Paul is no less intriguing. Whether married or single, I would place both of these books on a "must read" basis. I have enjoyed a satisfying marriage for 25 years, but I now understand the delicate relational balance needed for a mutually blessed marriage for both partners.