I am a monster. No, I do not "think" I am a monster. I do not "pretend" to be a monster. I am one. And yes, I do consume human flesh, but only because it is a dietary restriction from hell, I assure you. Don't pretend to be scandalized. It's not as if humans really care anymore. You should read some of my fanmail. If I could blush, I would. So join me, gentle readers, and see how it is that something as old as me, as experienced, as presumably wise,...