Resigned to their demise, the late 90s drift towards the new millennium. As the sun sets on the British Empire, the streets of London are overrun by drunken holidaymakers from her former colonies. Floors are slept on, pubs invaded, lawns scorched, queues jumped and quaint traditions ridiculed. Can anyone halt this scourge? Or, to be more precise, can a lovelorn opportunist from the town of Lemming Constable, abetted by a bickering band of workshy cider enthusiasts, halt this scourge? The answer, if you can be arsed to search for it, lies within these pages.
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