The Amateur Marriage

by Anne Tyler

Book Overview

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER - From the beloved Pulitzer Prize-winning author--a rich and compelling novel about a mismatched marriage and its consequences, spanning three generations They seemed like... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1400042070
• ISBN13: 9781400042074
• Release Date: January 2004
• Publisher: Alfred A. Knopf
• Length: 306 Pages
• Weight: 1.45 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.2" x 6.6" x 9.5"

Customer Reviews

My Favorite Anne Tyler Novel

I have read eight novels by Anne Tyler, and this is my favorite so far. How refreshing to have a writer who only improves on her own perfection. She has taken the edgy, imperfect, exasperating moments of marriage and woven a tapestry of life and its changes in the course of a fifty-year relationship. Michael and Pauline first meet in the fervor of patriotism that swept their neighborhoods in the days immediately after Pearl Harbor. They loved, they fought, they made each other miserable, and they married. They continued to fight and make each other miserable and the love was not so easy to see. They had three children and were conflicted by their raising of them. The whole family seems to change when the oldest daughter runs away from home. The pain of that act leaves its indelible mark on all of them and things are never as good as before, though they weren't all that good before. Anne Tyler has taken an ordinary couple and placed them in a commonplace situation like she always does. Yet she manages to make each page riveting, a can't-put-down read that involves the reader so deeply in the lives of Pauline, Michael and their family that one is reluctant to say goodbye. Surely, this outwardly ideal looking family can be "fixed." Surely the fighting will stop, Lindy will return home, and they will all live happily ever after. Surely. But, alas..... There are ordinary moments and there are extraordinary moments in this novel, but all become riveting in the hands of the masterful Anne Tyler. Will Pauline ever achieve her ideal of marriage as an interweaving of two souls? Will Michael be happy if he can attain his view of marriage, which is two people traveling side by side but separately? Can two people who don't like each other very much overcome that when the love just won't die? Can two good Catholics raise a grandchild named Pagan? From its compelling opening to its tearful ending, this is Anne Tyler writing as good or better than she has ever written. If you're already a fan, you'll adore it. If you're new to this author, it's the perfect starting point.

An unforgettable book about marriage & family!

Don't read any reviews that give away the plot of this book and also ignore the bad reviews, especially if you're over 40 and married. Anne Tyler was born in 1941 so she understands how life choices can be constantly evaluated as people age. The book flows from chapter to chapter and I was completely caught up in the lives of the family. I knew nothing about the plot ahead of time except that the married couple at times both have regrets about marrying the other. There is nothing plodding about this book - it was a page turner for me, but then I'm close to Tyler's age and my family experiences made me know how real this book is.

Ms. Tyler Is No Amateur Writer

Pauline and Michael met in 1941 as World War II was upon them, were infatuated with each other, hardly got acquainted before Michael goes off to fight for his country. They marry quickly, live with his mother whom he works for in the family grocery store, have two children quickly, then a third and live lives of quiet desperation. Sound familiar? Tyler maintains that this couple is mismatched and that they were amateurs about marriage. I would argue that there is a little bit of them in almost every married couple I know, that we are all "amateurs" when it comes to choosing a mate. Pauline and Michael could fit atop almost every wedding cake I've seen.Here are more examples of Pauline and Michael as every couple. They often quarrel but are not sure why they are angry with each other. Pauline often describes their children as "my" children rather than "our" children. (I wish I had a dollar for every time I've heard one spouse make that statement.) Because of what their oldest child Lindy does-- she runs away from home-- "it meant that Michael never again had a moment of pure joy." About Pauline, Michael says that "she was a good person, really. Well, and so was Michael himself, he believed. It was only that the two of them weren't nice. They weren't always very nice to each other; he couldn't explain just why." George, Pauline and Michael's son, feels that he married his mother. (How often have we heard that statement?) Michael has no hobbies. Pauline has had the same women friends for years, but has "lost the ability to pass judgment on these women. She didn't even know if she liked them, in fact, and perhaps she didn't like them, but by now it hardly mattered because how would she ever start over with somebody new, at this point?" At one point late in the novel when the children are telling stories about their mother, Michael doesn't recognize the woman they are describing.Although Ms. Tyler writes about the everyday dullness of a marriage, this novel is never, never dull. You know dozens of things about these wonderfully developed characters and ultimately care desperately about them. I found a sorrow sometimes just under the surface and other times palpable that I do not recall from reading other Tyler novels. Perhaps it's because the author is older now or we have lived through September 11, 2001-- the novel ends after 9/11/01-- or because we experience Pauline and Michael's lives over such a long period of time. At any rate, even those these two characters often didn't like each other very much, they never stopped loving each other on some level. I could rename them after a dozen couples I know. This most perceptive novel is as good as any Anne Tyler has written.

Great writing

I found this book so interesting and enjoyable to read. Anne Tyler is an amazing writer. It's true that sad things happen to the characters, but to me they are so real and true to themselves that everything makes sense, including the end. Unlike Hollywood movies, there are no sudden changes of heart and epiphanies that solve all the problems in an instant so that everybody can live happily ever after. Sad things do happen to people, and real people struggle with how to solve their problems. If reading this book makes some people examine their own lives a little more closely, and maybe even helps them avoid some of the same mistakes, that's great. But no lives are mistake-free, and honestly, they'd be less rich if they were. We don't get a chance to go back and do things over, and neither do Michael and Pauline. Their kids have to figure out what to make of their own lives, and yes, their parents didn't make it easy for them, but who has perfect parents? Michael & Pauline's grandson seems to survive the unkindest treatment of all and come out reasonably healthy. Even Michael and Pauline aren't bitter by the end. Maybe it's my own rose-colored glasses, but this sends a message of hope to me.

Anne Tyler's best . . . and that's saying something.

The real genius of Anne Tyler is how she can write so gently, and still make you care intensely about the characters in her books. I thought her previous book "Back When We Were Grownups' was her best, but "The Amateur Marriage" is even better.The writing is nostalgic, sensitive, funny, enlightening and sad - sometimes even heartbreaking.Stick with this book, but don't get too complacent - out of nowhere - BAM! Anne Tyler knocks you out of your chair.I read this book in one sitting, and feel like I should have slowed down and savored it more, which I will do when I re-read it (a rarity for me).