The Adderall Diaries: A Memoir of Moods, Masochism, and Murder

by Stephen Elliott

Book Overview

In the spring of 2007, a brilliant computer programmer named Hans Reiser stands accused of murdering his estranged wife, Nina. Despite a mountain of circumstantial evidence against him, he proclaims... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1555975704
• ISBN13: 9781555975708
• Release Date: September 2010
• Publisher: Graywolf Press
• Length: 208 Pages
• Weight: 0.50 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.7" x 5.2" x 8.6"

Customer Reviews

Finally, a Stephen Elliot book I can give to anybody! ;)

Sorry for the jokey title; let me explain: I love Stephen Elliot's writing; I am drawn to it, like I'm drawn to the songs of Liz Phair, the later Bukowski poetry, early Henry Miller. The illumination of things that you have seen on your own path but have not been able to find the right words for; the laughter of recognition, the horror and the glory of instant self-awareness. I read things by Stephen Elliot and they stay with me for days; I can read nothing else. His writing does that thing we love Art for doing: it puts a new filter over our lens, or gives it a new aperture or f-stop setting, and we feel the influence in how we see things and this influence helps us. Maybe makes us better; certainly it re-calibrates sensitivity. When I read Stephen Elliot, or certain Bukowski poems or listen to Liz Phair, I feel like a very real, very deep part of me gets a little light shone onto it by someone else. I feel like something about myself that even I occasionally have a hard time understanding is understood by someone. The `problem', though, and the reason for the jokey title, is that he is not a writer I have been able to interest too many others in. They say this-and-that about the subject matter; the cover art of "My Girlfriend...." draws the Raised Eyebrow from some but few are willing to venture further when they find out it's not strictly Porn. Most of us won't go swimming into water that has sharks just offshore, and the stories Stephen Elliot is compelled to tell have plenty of the things most people try to avoid. But this book is not only his most accessible, I think it's also his best. (He may disagree; at the beginning of the book, where we see the `Also By Stephen Elliot', he grades his own work, and tells us "Happy Baby" is his best book and we should read it first! Whether or not I agree with that, wouldn't it be great if all authors did that??) Initially, as I got pulled into the autobiographical elements of the story, I wondered how it would be possible not only to insert more of the `true crime' aspect, but how it could be more interesting than what I was reading. Both of those fears were put to rest. For a mad rush towards the end of the book, the True Crime (sic) takes center stage and the writing is as good as anything by Bugliosi or Dunne. And because Stephen-in-the-Book is still with is, we give over to it. At the end of the book, everything really coalesces; not in a neat-and-tidy way, but thematically and organically into a Whole. (In fact, the force of that cohesion is the most resonant element; it's shockwaves travel the farthest, I think.) I've also never read a better description of the attraction to having pain inflicted on ones' self ; he does not make that one of the `mysteries' the book is trying to solve, but it helps us understand the character, our Guide, who we are so strongly rooting for. If any part of my review resonates with you, I urge you to get this book and take this journey for yourself.

A Great Book that stands out among the glut of memoir

Stephen Elliott has created a work of art from some dissimilar sources as writer's block, an Adderall problem, the loss of friends back home, the pull of a murder trial where he's tangentially aligned with some of the players involved and, of course, his own issues with love and intimacy and his difficult relationship with his estranged father. It sounds like a lot of plates to keep spinning and Elliott does it with seeming effortlessness (which is never effortless when you try to write such things). The pace never lags, and the compelling, beautifully written voice never lets you down. His work has an admirable honesty, lovely, sharp, intelligent prose, and a great ability to bring the reader into the emotional landscape of the text. I could go on, but the short version is that this is one of the best books I've read in a couple of years and I'd HIGHLY recommend that you read it too. 5 stars.

Edgy, erratic, and often disheartening, yet an absolutely riveting read

Once one has mastered the rules, it becomes possible for a gifted few to transcend them. If you ask accomplished musicians, for example, they will tell you that it takes more than 10,000 hours of technical emersion before their musicianship can truly be considered art. In The Adderall Diaries, author Stephen Elliott shatters the strictures of conventional writing to create a poignant chronicle that remains with the reader long after he or she has finished the work. It is edgy, erratic, and often disheartening, yet absolutely riveting. As the author himself states, "to write about oneself honestly one has to admit a certain inconsistency and randomness that would never be tolerated in even the best of novels." Events are not presented in chronological order, yet the narrative is understandable and relatively easy enough to navigate nevertheless. While not for everyone, particularly those with tender sensibilities, this book is a remarkable read. Those who peruse its pages will be rewarded by the creativity, insight, and pure art-form that comprise Elliot's writing. The subject matter is incredibly disturbing, yet like Adderall, a Schedule D amphetamine from whence the author's addiction lent the book its name, once you fall into the story it is extraordinarily challenging to break free. In some ways a real-life version of John O'Brien's heartrending Leaving Las Vegas, Elliot's book was supposed to have been a true-crime drama, yet it morphed into an autobiography along the way. The backdrop is the nearly six month trial of Hans Reiser, a brilliant but curmudgeonly Linux programmer, who was accused of killing his estranged wife Nina. Despite hiring a respected attorney, Hans' narcissistic personality, peculiar behavior, and condescending manner undermine his case before the jury. The proceedings take a bizarre twist when Sean Sturgeon, Nina's former lover and Hans' closest friend, enters the picture. A BDSM (bondage and discipline, sadism masochism) aficionado who traveled in the same twisted circles as Elliot before becoming a born-again Christian, Sean not only confessed to eight (7 ½ really) unrelated murders but also, according to Hans, played a considerable role in Nina's disappearance as well. As the trial began, her body had not been found. Regarding Sturgeon, the author relates, "I've heard of him digging a knife in his own arm, carving RAGE, or standing naked in the middle of a room while several women strike at him with leather straps, his blood pooling at his feet. But, that was before he became a Christian. Now he goes to church every week, volunteers at the soup kitchen on weekends... I'm sitting across from a man who may be a murderer, but I can't tell." In an extraordinary coincidence, Elliot's own father also confessed to a murder in his memoirs that he may or may not have committed. Unlike fiction, truth really does not always have to make sense. The truth of Elliot's life is that it has been crammed with heartbreak and misfort

Powerful material in the hands of a true writer....

I sat next to Stephen for much of the Hans Reiser trial so I can tell you that he's right on the money with this descriptions and behind the scenes commentary. I have not, of course, sat next to him on his life's adventure. It shocks me but I greatly admire Stephen's ability to stand back and put it all out there for everyone to see. It takes a terrific writer to weave Stephen's story in with the trial but somehow he's done it...and it's a page turner. I was racing to see what happened next. Great book.

A haunting memoir that has stuck with me....

I just finished this book and feel like I've been submerged in another's life for the past week. The book blurber (Nick Flynn?) who said that Stephen Elliott's ADDERALL DIARIES starts like a big ocean and hones its force to a narrow channel had it just right. The murder trial of a highly narcissistic computer programmer named Hans Reisner gives Elliott the opportunity to dive into his own past - a complicated relationship with his own violent and narcissistic father, the loss of his mother at 13, a bleak life of early suicide attempts, drugs, and group homes, and his current addiction to both Adderall and S/M relationships. Elliott writes out of a lot of understanding for both himself and others - and without judgment - which is why the sections about his love relationships, and S/M in particular, ring true. (Elliott reminds me of Dorothy Allison in this regard). I highly recommend this book...and for those of you who've read it, you can see Elliott's adventures with his father aren't over. Just consider the review of "Gladiator" below...