Many people would like to change their lives, but only a few manage to do so. It is not easy to break the chains of fear and take that first step alone and swim against the current. Breaking free from the social structure of the life-model we are taught is not easy, yet sometimes it is essential for survival. In this raw autobiography I tell how I got to the point of taking that first much coveted step to get out of my teenage black hole made of drug-addiction, violence, crime and prostitution. I describe the abyss of rage and restlessness into which I had plunged, losing myself in the rotten environment of a big city. I talk about taboo subjects, like drugs, through the testimony of who has abused for many years. I tell the story of solo-travelling as a therapy after the nth overdose, when I was only twenty. The inner agony, the longing for peace, the many painful relapses. I share the devastating, yet illuminating experience of my mother's illness and death. From this pain a powerful spark for life was born inside me, which pushed me to a deep inner revolution, that allowed me to transform my existence into an extraordinary never-ending story. I travelled for more than 200.000 km, crossing many countries, without flying, and I found my social mission: I try to get close to those who are experiencing the darkness I have lived, to help them crawl out here, to finally breathe some peace and love for life.
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