Thanks For Nothing, Agnes Clementine: Hold My Karma

By Jackson E. Sheffield

Ever had one of those days where everything goes wrong? Franklin Haversford is having the mother of all bad days-and it's entirely his fault.

When impatient, chronically unlucky Franklin cuts in front of elderly Agnes Clementine at the pharmacy, he has no idea he's just angered the town's most mysteriously powerful resident. One cryptic curse later, and Franklin's already unfortunate life spirals into a hilariously catastrophic chain reaction of disasters that would make even Murphy's Law blush.

Within 24 hours, Franklin manages to flood his apartment, lose his job after an epic presentation wardrobe malfunction (complete with cartoon underwear and a hot mic in the bathroom), and turn a romantic dinner date into an impromptu sprinkler party. And that's just the beginning. With each passing hour, the disasters grow more spectacular and absurd, all narrated with sarcastic commentary by Mango, a surprisingly eloquent parrot with impeccable comic timing.

As Franklin's life crumbles around him-homeless, jobless, and soaked to the bone-he's forced to rely on his eccentric support system: his color-coding enthusiast fianc e Madeline, his former-principal mother with her coordinated pantsuits, and his self-help guru neighbor who can't even help himself. Each attempt to fix his situation only creates new catastrophes that ripple throughout his community, turning Franklin into an unwitting agent of chaos.

But as Franklin's misfortunes transform from personal disasters into community spectacles-from karaoke catastrophes to viral news interviews gone wrong-something unexpected happens. His spectacular bad luck begins bringing people together in ways they never imagined.

"Thanks For Nothing, Agnes Clementine: Hold My Karma" delivers a laugh-out-loud journey through one man's epically bad luck, proving that sometimes you have to lose everything to find what really matters. With its witty dialogue, outrageous physical comedy, and a snarky parrot stealing every scene, this is the perfect read for fans of absurdist humor and heartfelt coming-of-age stories.

Will Franklin find a way to break the curse, or is he doomed to a lifetime of comedic misfortune? Sometimes, the path to good luck starts with a sincere apology and a candy bar.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: B0FVSPKDHF
• ISBN13: 9798269269139
• Release Date: October 2025
• Publisher: Independently Published
• Length: 250 Pages
• Weight: 0.75 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.6" x 6.0" x 9.0"