Story Of A Stammerer
Just to make it clear from the outset, the title is not supposed to say that the first five pages are going to be retold over and over again.
My life is beginning to fall into place. I mean, it starts acquiring that inner peace, that blissful routine that allows you to know yourself better and grow little by little. With those wars of influence you wage with your three-year-old daughter, when you test each other's limits on a daily basis. With glimpses into the future - not out of desperation but out of the conviction that you'll reach it one day.
But it wasn't always like that. The truth is, I'm a rookie when it comes to peace. It's taken me about 30 years to find it. Quite a lot, some might say - and they'd be right. I consider myself a fine connoisseur of chaos. I am talking about inner chaos, the inability to acknowledge your flaws and limitations. With the infantilization of the adult pushed to the extreme, to the point when you start victimizing yourself and dramatizing even when you are aware that this is what you are doing. With so high a level of shyness that you shit your pants in class, in primary school, because you can't find the courage to go to the restroom, and that at an age when others have started experimenting with kissing or holding hands.
OK, let's not make such a big deal now; it only happened once.
On these pages, I will try to tell you how I made the first steps from chaos to peace. I'm likely to digress a lot, so please make yourself comfortable. Get your coffee mug or teacup, pick your favourite reading corner, and let's proceed.
For the first time in my life, I don't have the slightest intention to rush things.
What do I mean by first steps? Well, it's not like I'm going to spell out everything in the first book. Maybe it sells and needs a sequel.
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