Spice up your life: Crackhead 2

By Stu Armstrong

Spice Up Your Life
The utterly unhinged sequel to Crackhead.

Trevor's back on the streets and this time, he's not just on crack... he's on spice.
After serving a slapstick 18-month sentence (of which he served only 12 for "good-ish behaviour"), Trevor reunites with Chanelle his pipe-smoking partner-in-crime and sometime prostitute, sometime businesswoman - outside prison. They return to their spiritual home: Wetherspoons, where 1.99 can still buy you a pint and a sense of delusion. But things have changed. Trevor's got a new addiction. Chanelle's got new ideas. And Britain's most dysfunctional couple are about to unleash hell all over again.

From botched brothel schemes to naked circuses, garden centre porn, crypto-fuelled dogging, and a spectacularly ill-advised tour of Ireland to film leprechaun porn, Spice Up Your Life is a chaotic ride through Britain's seedy underbelly - and undercarriage. The pair fake their deaths (badly), start a counterfeit funeral business, launch a streaming platform for fetish freaks, and attempt to run a fetish festival in Germany... which ends exactly how you'd expect: with nudity, arrests, and several restraining orders.

In the explosive finale, they return home to find their beloved ice cream van - the Smackleton Sexpress - up on bricks. But nothing, not even the complete collapse of their criminal empire, can kill their buzz. Because for Trevor and Chanelle, life isn't about redemption. It's about survival, sex, and spice.

Spice Up Your Life is filthy, chaotic, hilarious, and proudly unhinged

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
"Changed my life. And by life, I mean trousers."
- Gaz from Slough
Read this on the bog and laughed so hard I shat myself twice. Trevor is like David Brent if he'd smoked crack and shagged a traffic warden. Chanelle deserves the Nobel Prize for Filth. Honestly inspiring. Genuinely considered quitting my job to start a naked circus. 10/10.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
"Funnier than my mate Gary getting tasered outside Lidl."
- @SpiceBoy94 on X
Couldn't put it down, except to light a fag and question my life choices. This book has everything: drugs, porn, stolen ice cream vans, and a level of public indecency that made me feel seen. It's like Trainspottingshagged Little Britain in a skip.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
"I laughed, I cried, I questioned the entire British welfare system."
- Susan, 62, Facebook reviewer
I'm not sure what I just read but I'm horny and scared. I read this during my dialysis and the nurse told me to calm down. Would recommend to absolutely no one with a moral compass.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
"So filthy I had to burn the Kindle."
- Dave from Hull
My wife left me halfway through Chapter 6. Said I was laughing like a pervert in a public toilet. She's not wrong. Best breakup of my life. Bought 3 more copies and gave one to my nan. She hasn't spoken to me since. Result.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
"If Shakespeare did spice."
- Actual crackhead probably
This is literature for the people. The broken people. The Greggs-thieving, spice-smoking, garden-centre-porn-watching people. I haven't read anything this powerful since the back of a Pot Noodle.

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"I came for the jokes. I stayed for the cactus fetish."
- HornyInHastings
Chanelle is a national treasure. Like if Katie Price got into crypto dogging. I laughed so hard I dislocated a rib. My therapist says I need help. I told her to read this and now she's moved to Portugal.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
"A spiritual journey through filth, fraud and fannies."
- Father Bernard, Former Catholic Priest
I was lost. This book found me. Then got me banned from the Co-Op. I've never been happier. Every chapter m

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: B0FBGQK4YG
• ISBN13: 9798285818205
• Release Date: May 2025
• Publisher: Independently Published
• Length: 138 Pages
• Weight: 0.43 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.3" x 6.0" x 9.0"