She Was My Reflection: "Diary of a Silent Heart"

By Juan Carlos Bonilla

The past few months, I dedicated time to myself-to reflect not only on my life but also on where I stand emotionally. Today, I decided to close a chapter and conclude with the following lesson for the rest of my life:
Love does not exist, and I say this with deep hatred in my heart and a furrowed brow. Wherever I go, or even in any place where I breathe, love fades away; and it's not just in my head-it's a fact, something I can feel. It's as if my body were surrounded by thorns and my face carried an expression that repels even the toughest person.
I took time to search for myself, but all I did was lose myself even more. I died in the arms of strangers, kissed prince charmings who promised me the world, but after one night, I never existed to them again. Honestly, I find it absurd that I live in a massive city, and no matter how well I present myself, no matter how many kind words come out of my mouth, I feel like I belong nowhere. And when I smile, it's for no reason-I do it automatically, while inside, I am empty.

And to you, because you know very well who I'm talking about-I will never forget how you used to boast about how excited you were when I talked about my projects, only to later mock me when I offered you the best version of myself. Or how you used to say you weren't ready for a relationship, yet just weeks after everything ended, you left with someone else.

I think what I really want to say is that love does exist, but there is no place for me in it, nor will there ever be. Because I am the kind of person who is always overlooked for someone else. I am the kind of person who, when looking for a seat, always finds it taken, always met with an excuse for why they are not welcome.

I've always said that you should never speak with your mouth-you should speak with your heart. So, the words in this book are the things I once wished to say to him, hoping he would come back. But he never did. So instead of sending them to him and being rejected once again, I would rather share them with you.

"And there I was, saying goodbye as my heart shattered into a million pieces.
How could it not?
I was letting go of the love I had ALWAYS wanted in my life..."

Welcome to my 343 nights of vulnerability and intense pain.

My book, She Was My Reflection: Diary of a Silent Heart, is now completely yours.

Thank you,
Juan Ventura.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: B0DXDS7RJK
• ISBN13: 9798310969964
• Release Date: February 2025
• Publisher: Independently Published
• Length: 392 Pages
• Weight: 1.60 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.0" x 6.0" x 9.0"