Senior Discount of the Damned
Mortimer Tinkerbottom wanted a quiet retirement.
Unfortunately, the dead had other plans.
At seventy-eight years old, Mortimer has bad knees, worse patience, and a deep personal hatred of group activities. Life at Shady Palms Retirement Village is already hard enough with fake grass, cafeteria tuna surprise, and neighbors who treat bingo like a blood sport. Then the residents start turning into zombies.
At first, Mortimer assumes the apocalypse is just Florida finally being honest.
Armed with a cane, a foul mood, and absolutely no interest in leadership, he accidentally becomes the last thing standing between the residents of Shady Palms and the undead shuffling through the courtyard. Soon, his ragtag army of retirees is fighting back with golf carts, walkers, knitting needles, oxygen tanks, hearing aids, scooter horns, denture adhesive, and one deeply controversial cafeteria menu.
But the dead are not the real enemy.
When Mortimer discovers that a corporate "wellness" company has been using Shady Palms residents as test subjects in a secret longevity experiment, his irritation turns into something much more dangerous. The outbreak did not just reach the retirement village.
It started there.
Now Mortimer and the Early Bird Specials must survive the dead, expose the living villains, and prove that old does not mean helpless.
Cranky, outrageous, fast-moving, and full of heart, Senior Discount of the Damned is a comic zombie survival novel about the people society underestimates most finally getting the last word.
Retirement is over.
And Mortimer Tinkerbottom is not done complaining.
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