Scissor Me, Timbers

By Justin Orlando

Scissor Me, Timbers is a laugh-out-loud parody picture book for adults who love crafts, wordplay, and wickedly clever humor.

In the quiet town of Les Bean, the Scissoring Club meets every Thursday to snip, stitch, and sparkle. But when fabrics fly and tempers flare, there's only one phrase that can keep the peace...
"Scissor me, Timbers "

Each pair of crafters brings their own flair to the table: from precision cutters to glitter queens, perfectionists to fabric fanatics. Together they learn that teamwork, laughter, and a well-timed scissor snip can turn any tangled mess into a masterpiece.

With playful rhymes, whimsical illustrations, and a cheeky double meaning on every page, this hilarious parody will have you laughing, crafting, and shouting "Scissor me, Timbers " right along with them.

✂️ Perfect for readers who enjoy:

Adult humor disguised as children's books

Crafting, sewing, quilting, and DIY parodies

Cozy comedy with a wink and a nod

Gag gifts for crafters, book clubs, or bachelorette parties

Grab your glue gun, steady your scissors, and join the sassy sisterhood that proves crafting can be fun.

NOT A CHILDREN'S BOOK

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: B0FV8V6WJJ
• ISBN13: 9798268877182
• Release Date: October 2025
• Publisher: Independently Published
• Length: 32 Pages
• Weight: 0.22 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.1" x 8.5" x 8.5"