As I sat in my living room, one of my favorite rooms in the house, a room that used to bring me joy and a room that was once filled with laughter had in a twist of fate, become a room of mourning and sorrow and sadness. Feeling all alone with a sense of strange abandonment on one side, yet on the other feeling the presence of God; only a small still presence. At that moment of deep sorrow, I hung on to His presence as the tears kept flowing through my bloodshot eyes gazing specifically towards my ceiling and I let out a shout, "Really God!"; a shout that sent a wave through my body and throughout my home. That shout should have been heard from miles away, and must have reached through dimensions into the Holy of Holies. Nevertheless, I heard nothing from God, but my own screams, and it seemed at that very moment, God had abandoned me.
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