Pythons, Profiles & Perfect Matches: A Romantic Comedy (Dalton Pecking Order)

By Dalton Douglas

Isaac Goldman believes fear is information.

Preferably information disclosed early, labeled clearly, and kept at a reasonable distance.

So when a routine app profile-review session introduces him to Vic Paxton, a calm man with steady eyes and a python named Clarence visible in the background, Isaac has questions. Many questions. Most of them involve containment, risk mitigation, and why no one thought "surprise python" should be mentioned before the video call.

Vic doesn't tease him. He doesn't push. He simply answers.

Clarence is a python. Clarence eats only prepared food. Clarence is not dangerous to Steve, the hypothetical small mammal Isaac has become unexpectedly invested in protecting. And no, Clarence's sex is not currently relevant.

As Isaac and Vic work together to redesign the app's matching system around consent, boundaries, and honest disclosure, Isaac begins to understand that respect does not require comfort-and care does not always need approval.

But understanding Clarence is one thing.

Letting Vic close enough to matter is another.

Pythons, Profiles & Perfect Matches is a warm, witty MM romantic comedy about fear, boundaries, careful questions, ethical care, and the kind of love that never asks anyone to move closer than they choose.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: B0H23S3N15
• ISBN13: 9798197276179
• Release Date: May 2026
• Publisher: Independently published
• Length: 310 Pages
• Weight: 0.92 lbs.
• Dimensions: 9.0" x 0.7" x 6.0"