Psycho Sue and the alky, Hugh (2016)

By Clerihew Grimes

The tale of an awful couple. Hugh Janus (which the family pronounce 'Yarners' for obvious reasons!) and his universally disliked wife, Sue, whose never-ending schemes to better their social status are doomed to always end in failure. Her useless, alcoholic husband, Hugh, stoically bears the brunt of her visceral displeasure as they bumble from one fruitless project to another.They are casual racists as well as inveterate snobs. They would deny both appellations - except when among their very few close friends who have a similar warped outlook on life. Brought up in relative luxury on the Dark Continent and in the wastes of Essex, their thoughts constantly hark back to the days of servants both native and Cockney.The couple spend their lives lurching from one dismally unsuccessful plan to another. She will never, ever forsake her valiant attempts to ingratiate herself with her social superiors, whilst her husband's energy is spent in being obedient to the Tartar who rules, in order to get the maximum benefit from whiskey and laziness.At least Sue has her beloved pigs. She slaughters and butchers them herself; a task which she relishes and during which she often envisages her husband's throat beneath her boning knife.Hugh makes a complete fool of himself at The Shooting Party. Sue feels she's been made a fool of on Bonfire Night. But those are by no means the lowest points of their terrible year.2016 is their 'Annus Abonimabulus'. It veers from one massive disappointment to another and ends with them closer to poverty and disgrace than ever before. At the bitter end of the year, Sue awaits a Summons for fraud and Hugh is anxiously expecting a court date on charges of engaging in sex in a public lavatory and possessing Class 'A' drugs. Only one of them is innocent, the other is guilty as charged ... but which is which?

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1520425031
• ISBN13: 9781520425030
• Release Date: January 2017
• Publisher: Independently published
• Length: 227 Pages
• Weight: 0.90 lbs.
• Dimensions: 9.0" x 0.6" x 6.0"