Many movies are the story in name only and just retain a few characters. This film comes close to that definition. For readers of Edgar Rice Burroughs, naturally, there is no excuse for this film. However, if you overlook the hokey background music (that sounds like a Hallmark movie), the missing Woola, the stilted dialogue, the phony flying scenes (shades of Hidden Tiger), and the logic that you could drive a tank through, this is a watchable film.
For the reader or the non-reader alike, the story has changed a tad. John Carter (Antonio Sabato Jr.) of Virginia is now a U.S. sniper in Afghanistan. He is betrayed by a dastardly trick from an insidious drug dealer. The only way to save his life is to use a physics trick to create a John copy on a distant planet that just happens to also have the name “Mars” (no Barsoom here). He meets Tharks that are not green, a prince, Dejah Thoris (a 41-year-old Traci Lords) is not red, and an enemy that is not of that world. We still get swordplay and leaps of faith.
It looks like the film was set up as a sequel, and sure enough, there will be one. However, not with the same actors. I do not want to give too few stars because I do not want to discourage people from producing the Barsoom series.
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