Polite Lies: On Being a Woman Caught Between Cultures

By Kyoko Mori

Book Overview

In this powerful, exquisitely crafted book, Kyoko Mori delves into her dual heritage with a rare honesty that is both graceful and stirring. From her unhappy childhood in Japan, weighted by a troubled family and a constricting culture, to the American Midwest, where she found herself free to speak as a strong-minded independent woman, though still an outsider, Mori explores the different codes of silence, deference, and expression that govern Japanese and American women's lives: the ties that bind us to family and the lies that keep us apart; the rituals of mourning that give us the courage to accept death; the images of the body that make sex seem foreign to Japanese women and second nature to Americans. In the sensitive hands of this compelling writer, one woman's life becomes the mirror of two profoundly different societies.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0449004287
• ISBN13: 9780449004289
• Release Date: April 1999
• Publisher: Ballantine Books
• Length: 272 Pages
• Weight: 0.54 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.4" x 5.5" x 8.2"

Customer Reviews

Vivid memoir Social Commentary Japan & US

I loved this book. I am not surprised that there are bad reviews. Some Japanese and japanophile readers could be offended by the revelations about Japanese culture. But, Kyoko is giving the reader tremendous insight into the social structure of Japan. She points out quite a few similarities to American Midwest culture. Best of all, her stories draw the reader in and keep reader wanting more.

Beautiful writing, honest feeling, insightful observation

I loved reading Kyoko Mori's Polite Lies, and will read all her books. I greatly admire her lovely writing style and enjoyed spending time with this thoughtful, perceptive, gentle cultural observer. I have a lifelong fascination with Japanese culture, and felt the truth of Mori's experiences (I was an American child in Tokyo in 1952-54.) I'm also interested in gender issues, art, writing, and comparative cultures in general, so I found her to be a delightful companion and guide. I can imagine that she would indeed be a good interpreter of American culture for the Japanese, just as she enlightens Americans about the Japanese. Thank you Ms. Mori--good work!! Keep writing!

Observations from the inside of Japan

Ms. Mori, in her social commentary and comparison between the Midwest and Japan, exposes the soft underbelly of contemporary Japanese culture. Having hosted over 25 exchange students from Japan (all women) I began to have a deeper understanding of what their experience of Japan really was. To be sure, Ms. Mori is an English professor, and her social examinations are based on her own experience, yet her generalizations do strike a chord with what I have come to know of both Japanese and American culture. While we either praise or damn other cultures what I have found is that both cultures have their flaws. What I found most interesting is that she has confirmed my thesis that Japan never had a Renaissance. The country went directly from a Feudal state to an Industrial state without the pain of dealing with the questions of humanity. The social structures of Japan still reflect the Feudal culture of the Tokugawa era. To be sure, there are beauties in both cultures. And, a bad childhood can easily mask the good side of the culture you live within. Read this book if you want to understand contemporary Japan from the eyes of a child who lost her mother and had an abusive father. There is a lot of pain and suffering found here. There are also the seeds of what will be the yet to come Japanese Renaissance. That will be interesting to watch.

honest

Ms Mori writes honestly, simply and eloquently. I'm an ardent fa

I have seen the transformation in Kyoko

I was in love with Kyoko when she was a high school exchange student shortly after the death of her mother and had a wonderful dinner with her years later after A Dream of Water was published. The change in her over these past 25 years is evident in this book. It is discomforting to read because of the truth it speaks, not only of a Japanese woman adopting a new culture, but also a child becoming an adult with all of the complexities that entails. Kyoko has the courage to expose her life changes and disappointments while the rest of us "politely lie" about our own. She truely is a special woman.