The writings in this book, and everything that follows it, were inspired by the 2015 earthquake in Nepal. I had written a few poems as a child, and while growing up I wrote verses over instrumentals. But the moments of 2015 were a wake-up call. For the first time, I saw the world up close. I saw how unimportant, how useless and voiceless I was, how little service I could offer to the suffering around me, and how protected and narrow my life had been. What followed was a burning urge to understand life, its components, its contradictions, and why things are the way they are. Writing became a way of trying to figure things out, and perhaps a path toward finding my own voice. This book was originally published in 2018. At the time, it was published as a limited edition, knowing fully that the act of publishing would result in a financial loss. Still, it felt unavoidable, like a poem erupting inside me, demanding to be written down somewhere. So, I chose a loss I could bear, simply to let the work exist. Now, in 2026, I am reprinting this book as a paperback edition. The intention is only to make the work accessible. The signed and numbered books remain the limited edition. Some parts of this book have been edited. Most parts remain as they were, even those I no longer fully connect with. They exist because a younger version of me needed them to exist. In that way, this book also serves as a journal of the many versions I have been. Much love, Ashim
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