Historical novel set in the 1960s-Louisiana with that messy deep affection, bound to wreck your heart. I was and am a gay Christian, and like everyone else, I had the spirit of God inside me--- Raised by a tough father, in a world where my queerness was a sickness. I am Billy Jacqueline, a soldier's son, and he groomed me to become the man who had a deep repugnance for myself. Like mice, he experimented with heterosexual experiences, breaking me down, I didn't want to....... hurt anymore, but same-sex attractions, referred to as mental illness, led to a dishonorable discharge. We had to serve in the military under fear, we were not allowed to, 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' Unknowingly, I bumped into a man with an enigmatic quality, his eyes a blend of sky and sealike, with a kooky personality. It was the first time I felt loved. I didn't know what to do anymore, and I found myself captured in this series of thoughts and visual flashes of the worst things I yearned to do to him.
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