Parenting Without Perfection: Being a Kingdom Influence in a Toxic World

By David J. Seel

Ideal for the parent who is frustrated with quick-fix parenting advice, Parenting Without Perfection offers ideas that are honest, realistic, and biblically sound. Get a unique perspective on parents'... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1576832007
• ISBN13: 9781576832004
• Release Date: July 2000
• Publisher: Navpress Pub Group
• Length: 224 Pages
• Weight: 0.60 lbs.
• Dimensions: 8.8" x 0.5" x 5.8"

Customer Reviews

High School isn't PG-13

HIGH SCHOOL ISN'T PG-13In "PARENTING WITHOUT PERFECTION" John Seel does three things well. (1) He describes the toxic culture now suffocating America's children. (2) He critiques a few ultra-severe crisis management techniques which aim to change children's defiant behavior. (3) Dr Seel then commends a fresh approach: treating children as God treats us. Respecting children's freedom as God respects theirs, parents will focus on influencing children's wills, not controlling their behavior.(1) OUR TOXIC CULTURE. Arising at the same time as the Playboy Philosophy, certain decadent time bombs within ideas of the 1960s are now exploding amidst the lives of teens of the Year 2000. Today's adolescents make up the first American generation raised largely without religion. To many youngsters their God is themselves. "Love yourself, indulge yourself, unshackle yourself": that is our culture's message to teens. Hollywood's culture industry says: "forget organized religion and family morality. For God is dead. But Sex lives."(2) WHAT SOME HORRIFIED PARENTS ARE DOING.Most parents just wing it, says John Seel. Others opt to control their children's behavior. They try TEEN HELP or sign waivers permitting extreme techniques for modifying behavior: handcuffs, stun guns, and even solitary confinement. Some judges assign young offenders to "boot camps" or "teen courts."(3) CHRISTIAN PARENTING.In helpful detail John Seel urges parents to imitate Jesus: the Good Shepherd, leading his willing flock from in front, not lashing them on from behind. The father in the Prodigal Son parable shows how loving parents must let adolescents make their own mistakes. Parents must influence not behavior, but wills and wants.+++John Seel argues that if the adolescent does not freely choose a life in the spirit, there is no forcing him or her. Only if free to choose, will a child accept adult supervision or even the lightest of parental monitoring.Christlike parenting of self-directed children is not without cost. For parents must immerse themselves in the sometimes off-putting culture of their children: their loud music, their skate boarding, their craving to be loved, respected and to feel safe. Parents might begin by reading books about teen culture and then plunging head first into that raucous, unruly culture themselves. A mother must make time to interact with schools and teachers and with her sons' friends. For as teen film director Chris Weitz puts it, "High school isn't PG-13." A father has to know how girls signal to one another. Learning from teens is no more than a painful, first step. But that step must be taken by all parents consciously influencing their teens to choose to become Christ's apprentices. ---------------

PARENTS: TAKE HEED!!!

I forced my parents to buy this book (not that they wouldn't have anyhow) and read it voraciously. I am almost sixteen and found Parenting Without Perfection to be an accurate portrayal of teen society today. The foundation of this book is the Christian heart's drive to seek to be an apprentice of Jesus, a very important desire which is all too often lacking in our churches. I greatly appreciated his spiritual insights and can confirm as a teenager that the best way to influence our hearts is to seek to understand the culture in which we live and to love us. So many parents today (praise God they are not mine) either don't want to know what their teens are doing or try to control their lives. Seel takes a realistic look at the truth about the Biblical, wise way to approach parenting. I highly recommend this book for all parents- you will be blessed by what you read.

High School isn't PG-13

In "PARENTING WITHOUT PERFECTION" John Seel does three things well. (1) He describes the toxic culture now suffocating America's children. (2) He critiques a few ultra-severe crisis management techniques which aim to change children's defiant behavior. (3) Dr Seel then commends a fresh approach: treating children as God treats us. Respecting children's freedom as God respects theirs, parents will focus on influencing children's wills, not controlling their behavior.(1) OUR TOXIC CULTURE.Arising at the same time as the Playboy Philosophy, certain decadent time bombs within ideas of the 1960s are now exploding amidst the lives of teens of the Year 2000. Today's adolescents make up the first American generation raised largely without religion. Hollywood's culture industry says: "forget organized religion and family morality. For God is dead. But Sex lives."(2) WHAT SOME HORRIFIED PARENTS ARE DOING.Most parents just wing it, says John Seel. Others opt to control their children's behavior. They try TEEN HELP or sign waivers permitting extreme techniques for modifying behavior: handcuffs, stun guns, and even solitary confinement. Some judges assign young offenders to "boot camps" or "teen courts."(3) CHRISTIAN PARENTING.In helpful detail John Seel urges parents to imitate Jesus: the Good Shepherd, leading his willing flock from in front, not lashing them on from behind. The father in the Prodigal Son parable shows how loving parents must let adolescents make their own mistakes. Parents must influence not behavior, but wills and wants.John Seel argues that if the adolescent does not freely choose a life in the spirit, there is no forcing him or her. Only if free to choose, will a child accept adult supervision or even the lightest of parental monitoring.Christlike parenting of self-directed children is not without cost. For parents must immerse themselves in the sometimes off-putting culture of their children: their loud music, their skate boarding, their craving to be loved, respected and to feel safe. Parents might begin by reading books about teen culture and then plunging head first into that raucous, unruly culture themselves. A mother must make time to interact with schools and teachers and with her sons' friends. For as teen film director Chris Weitz puts it, "High school isn't PG-13." A father has to know how girls signal to one another. Learning from teens is no more than a painful, first step. But that step must be taken by all parents consciously influencing their teens to choose to become Christ's apprentices.

A learned, personal account of parenting

Unlike some authors who seem to promise that if parents follow a certain set of suggestions their children will turn out "perfect," John Seel knows that in this life perfection is unattainable. He also knows that parents have much less control over their children's lives than they might think. Parents can provide good examples for their children to follow; they can make wise choices about where their children go to school; they can strive to minimize the level of hypocrisy they display before their teenagers; they can make an effort to understand youth culture and what Seel calls contemporary America's "deathwork culture"--and Seel advises that they do make such an effort rather than minimize it or ignore it as frivolous, for, however fleeting, youth culture matters to the youths who currently inhabit it: parents can do all these things and yet still see their teenager make poor and even self-destructive choices. This is because teenagers are moral agents, capable, despite their immaturity and inexperience, of making decisions for themselves. Thus, working from within a biblical framework Seel advises that parents do their best insofar as their children's education and moral training are concerned, that they pray regularly for their teenagers, and that they model the kind of lives they would like their teens to live; but he also counsels that parents should recognize and appreciate a teen's capacity to make decisions for him or herself. Seel's wise approach to parenting is grounded in personal experience and in years of study of contemporary American culture. This is a book worth reading.

A Teenager's Perspective

I thoroughly enjoyed Dr. Seel's perspective on Godly parenting- I am fifteen years old and read my parents copy of this book. Dr. Seel has an excellent grasp of teen society today and realistically and unbiasedly lets parents know the ideaologies and philosopies that their children face every day. It is an excellent source for anyone who wants to help their childen to build a firm biblical perspective from which to view the deathwork culture that is so prevalent among people of my generation. He also gives excellent advice as to what makes parents lose credence in their childrens eyes and how to prioritize the way you deal with your child's heart issues. I heartily reccomend this book to all Chistian parents no matter what age your children are.